


A Marriageable Prospect.

by Annie_Is_A_Contranym



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-05 06:50:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3110141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie_Is_A_Contranym/pseuds/Annie_Is_A_Contranym
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek Hale is married to his job. Putting his personal life on hold while he builds his family's company has earned him a reputation as broody and not husband material. But a takeover bid by his uncle has him in the express lane to matrimony — well, he would be if he could find a wife who will have him! In desperation, he asks his trusted assistant, Stiles, to help make him a marriageable prospect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Seriously Hale! What the hell is your aversion to your bed? It's like you'd rather live in your office than go home."

From where he lay on the office sofa, arm strewn over his eyes to block out the morning light, Derek thought, _'That was not incorrect'_. As lovely as his apartment was, it was rather big and lonely and the only thing he did there was fire up his laptop and continue working. So really, it was simply more efficient if he just stayed at the office. He already had an adjoining en suite bathroom with a closet where he kept extra clothes. The only thing missing was his pillow.

"No Derek, I will not pick you up a pillow for the office."

Damn! Stiles Stilinski knew him so well. Derek wasn't surprised. The kid had been with him for five years (straight out of college). When Derek returned to take over the reins at his parent's company after their death, he was in need of an assistant. Stiles had just finished his degree in International Finance and stepped in on a temporary basis until an appropriate position opened up in the company.  Five years later he was still with Derek though and Derek could not be more grateful. Even if the kid did nag something fierce.

"Dude! This is like the third night this week you’ve slept in your office," he said. "I don't understand why your neck isn't killing you. This is not healthy."

Eyes still closed, Derek couldn't tamp down on the slight upward curve of his lips. He was used to the irreverent scolding. Stiles was only twenty seven and on any given day mostly acted like he was still seventeen, but there were moments - like when he was dealing with their executive clients or dealing with a difficult Derek - when he sounded much older than his years.

Stiles' voice got louder and softer as he moved around Derek's office and Derek could tell when he made his way to the coffee table in front of the office couch and sat down. He reached out a hand and shook Derek gently.

"Derek," he said softly, "I know how much this company means to you and why you work so hard, but dude... you really need to get out of this office and get a life."

It was the tenderness in his voice that got Derek moving. He swung his legs down and sat up, extending his arms in a full body stretch. Opening his eyes slowly, he rolled his shoulders and neck to alleviate the stiffness there.

"I happen to like my office," he responded. "And don't call me dude."

Stiles tilted his head and looked at Derek with sparkling eyes that smiled. He had a little smirk easing up one corner of his mouth. Derek couldn't help but be struck by just how beautiful the young man was. From his honey coloured eyes that didn't quite hide behind his black rimmed hipster glasses, to his smart mouth and his beauty mark dotted skin to his broad shoulders and lean frame, the Sheriff's son had grown up fine. Derek wondered if Stiles had a life outside the office.

"I have a life." he told the younger man. He got up and walked around Stiles and over to his desk. There was a steaming cup of coffee and his favourite breakfast sandwich on a plate waiting for him. Stiles always made sure he ate a proper breakfast. "Thank you for breakfast, Stiles."

Stiles sighed dramatically (Derek often thought he did everything dramatically) before switching his seat to the couch Derek was previously occupying. It was still warm from his body heat and his scent lingered.  

"Dude, you have _a job_ ," Stiles snorted. "A kick ass job, at which you kick ass, but a job nonetheless. A life would entail leaving this place and interacting with people and having relationships and shit. You know....things that are not your job."

Derek frowned. He was not good at interacting with people. Oh he could use words confidently in a business setting (he was good at his job) but one on one in a non work setting and he always seemed to say the wrong thing.  At the last office get together, he was there for a total of five minutes before he made a woman cry by agreeing when she joked that everyone was probably fed up with all the stories of her cat that she shared. He was _agreeing_ for goodness sake. How was that insulting?

Last night he'd had a conversation with his ex girlfriend Jennifer, in which she told him that he simply had no people skills. He'd actually called to rekindle their relationship with the hope of marriage but she shot him down so fast, his head hurt. When they were dating she seemed very into getting married and starting a family and apparently she still was - but not with him.

He looked at Stiles from over the brim of his coffee cup. He valued Stiles' opinion and respected the way his brain processed things. Stiles was a large part of the reason that Hale Inc was as successful as it was. Stiles' good friend Lydia Martin who ran an Actuarial Consulting Firm had been trying to get him to jump ship for years but the man was nothing if not loyal.  

"You really think I have no life?" he asked. "I work hard yes, but I also work out, give to charities and ..."

"And you worship at the church of Hale Inc." Stiles interrupted.

"This company is important to me!" Derek all but growled. "I never gave it much thought growing up or while I was away at college in New York, but I always knew that I'd be back here. This is the family business and I was always going to be a part of it. But then I got the call that I had to come back because there was no more family and I didn't even have time to grieve properly before Peter was trying to sell it out from under me. I work hard because I have to Stiles. This is all I have left of them."

Stiles scrubbed his face with his hand before running it  over his scalp. He looked tired, all righteous indignation drained out of him.

"I know Derek. I'm not questioning the why. I just wonder about the what-next. How will you have someone to leave this all behind for when you spend all your hours at your desk? "  

"Stiles, you’re here almost as much as I am." He (and his eyebrows) pointed this out.  

"Fuck dude, someone has to take care of you,"  Stiles laughed. "You so need to be paying me more than you do. I do everything for you. From running the office to making sure you eat, and have clean clothes. Heck, I probably know more about the purchases on your credit card than you do. If I was sleeping with you I could probably claim spousal support because we are basically married."

"So get yourself a break by helping me become a married man."

Damn. He hadn't meant to blurt that out just yet but it made sense. Stiles helped him succeed in everything. If he was to succeed in this, he needed Stiles - Stiles who was currently sitting stock still and looking at him like he'd lost his mind and the young man wanted to weep for his lost sanity.

"Umm...excuse me...buh...but...what?" Stiles stammered out as if unable to process a coherent thought. "You...Derek....you want to...umm...what?"

Derek leaned back in his chair and drummed his fingertips on his desk. "I need your help to become a decent husband."

Stiles tilted his head and squinted at Derek, disbelief and confusion written all over his face. "You want to get married?"

"Yes. And the sooner the better." Derek confirmed.

Stiles eyes widened and his lips parted. "Derek, I umm..yes, of course..."

The stunned look on Stiles face as he got up from the couch had Derek realizing just how mixed up he'd started this conversation.

"Wait." he said arm extended, stopping Stiles in his tracks. "I am explaining this wrong."

Stiles began to bite his bottom lip, which was very distracting. Damn oral fixation.

"Let me start over," Derek continued. "Peter is selling out his interest in the company as part of a deal he's cutting with Omega Investments. This purchase will give them a seat on the board and access to all our records which they can then use to launch a full assault on us. And you know how they work. They'll dismantle everything we've built and sell us as salvage."

"Now based on how my parents set up the company, I get first dibs on buying rights but I need to come up with two and a half million dollars in sixty days or everything will be lost."

Stiles stalked over to Derek's desk and sat down across from him, his face a mask of outrage and horror.

"Derek, we don't have that kind of money or the ready assets we would need to liquidate in order to pay that."

 "I know Stiles." Derek looked past Stiles to a picture of his parents that was hanging on the wall next to the door. "The thing is, there is a tidy three million being held in trust for me from personal investments my parents made but I can only access it upon the presentation of my marriage certificate."

"So if you get married, you'll have the money to pay Peter and save the company?"  Stiles chewed on his lip some more as he took in everything Derek was saying. "So is this a marriage of convenience then? Not a real one? A temporary one?"

Derek shrugged. "It will certainly be convenient but I am hoping it will be real. I'd like to settle down, have a family again; have people to leave this company to like you're always nagging me about so no - not a temporary one if I can help it. I'd like it to be real in every aspect. Are you in? Are you going to help me out?

Stiles grin could light up a whole room he thought, as the younger man beamed at him.

"Of course Derek! I am so in! Though I have to tell you, you need to work on your romantic skills, like big time."

 Derek laughed a little and Stiles sat up straighter at the sound of it.

"That's why I need you, right?" he smiled.

"Absolutely," Stiles agreed. "I am so going to have to  teach you how it's done."

Derek felt a huge sense of relief knowing that Stiles was going to be helping. He reached across the desk and wrapped his fingers around Stiles' wrist. Stiles looked down at the point of contact.

"Thank you for agreeing Stiles. I'd be lost without you, we both know that. You are the best person I've ever met and I know that with your guidance, I'll be husband material in no time and it will be the easiest thing ever to get a wife."

Stiles' head flew up suddenly and his eyes locked with Derek's.

"A _wife_?"


	2. Chapter 2

"A _wife_?"

"Yes, a wife."

Derek wanted a wife. Stiles mentally kicked himself.  Of course Derek wasn't asking to marry him.  His boss wanted him to help him find a woman to marry and have babies with and spend forever with. Derek didn't want _a husband_ and he certainly didn't want Stiles.

That realization felt like someone slammed a baseball bat into his solar plexus.

Stiles could not believe that he'd been so stupid; that after all these years, he'd let himself hope...that he'd let himself believe that Derek could actually want him. Damn. He'd even have accepted a marriage in name only, if it got him more time to wear Derek down- to win him over.  

For the past five years, Stiles had managed to make himself indispensible to Derek. He'd taken the job as Derek's Assistant as a means to be close to the man he'd been half in love with ever since high school. From the first time he saw Derek at age sixteen, Stiles knew that his years-long hetero love for a certain strawberry blonde goddess by the name of Lydia Martin was child's play compared to what Derek did to his heart.

While Derek was away at college, Stiles counted down the days till the semester breaks when Derek would come home to visit. He'd always made sure to be in the same places as Derek was, hoping that the older boy would notice him. From the library to the local diner to the clearing in the Preserve where all the college kids hung out, Stiles was there, a blurry constant in the periphery of Hale's awareness. He'd marked Derek's graduation date in red marker on his wall calendar, excited for the day that Derek would call Beacon Hills 'home' again. 

Only Derek didn't come back. He'd found something (or someone perhaps, Stiles was never sure) in New York that kept him there and Stiles was lost without his anchor to Beacon Hills. So he set off to college himself determined to get over Derek Hale. That was the plan. However, one simply does not get over Derek Hale and every date he went on, every hook up he had (and there were many of both, with both genders, because he was bisexual; though there was that one embarrassing 'humping the Christmas tree' event so maybe he wasn't even limited to genders? Who knows? He was pretty drunk at the time), no one measured up to Derek. He graduated as single as he'd matriculated.

Then, just as he'd returned to Beacon Hills, tragedy struck and he found himself in a position to help Derek cope in a real way and not simply offer up platitudes on Derek's loss. That was five years ago in what was supposed to be a temporary situation - a transition thing. But working so closely with Derek had turned his overblown infatuation into full blown love. Derek was kind, dedicated, noble, intelligent and with a wicked sense of humour once you got past the crusty exterior. So few people got past the crusty exterior. But Stiles did and he revelled in it. Oh, and the fact that he was hot like a thousand suns hot didn't hurt. Nope, uh-uh, it didn't hurt at all.

The real kicker though, was that Derek respected Stiles. He depended on Stiles to get things done. Not just pick up his dry cleaning or organize his daily agenda, but to analyze data and make recommendations. Derek listened when Stiles gave advice on client files. He actively asked Stiles' opinions on things. He made Stiles feel so far away from the ADHD spaz that he'd been in high school and every bit the articulate, educated professional he was today. So many people never got past their memories of Stiles the kid, that they never saw Stiles the man. Derek saw Stiles the man and how could Stiles not simply be head over heels in love with him for that.

"Stiles?" Derek prompted when Stiles must have zoned out for a little too long with his thoughts. "Hey, you okay?"

Stiles nodded and cleared that boulder of heart break lodged in his throat, making some god awful noises doing so.

"Good," Derek responded. " Sixty days is not a lot. If I can be married in about thirty or so, it would be ideal. We can do this right?"

 And there was that boulder reclaiming its stake on Stiles' throat. There was no question that it could be done. Derek Hale, as far as Stiles was concerned, was already the ultimate marriageable prospect. His obsession with the office was a mask for his need for a family.  In no time flat, Stiles would probably have to make his wedding plans (where he'll wed Not!Stiles), arrange his honeymoon (where he'll be honeymooning Not!Stiles), help him pick out his tuxedo (so Not!Stiles can help him out of it). Eeek!  He couldn't do this!  Stiles wanted to marry him, not marry him off to someone who'd never understand him the way Stiles did. He had to say no. How the hell could he say no? He'd never not accepted or completed any of the assignments Derek had given him over the years.

He started to speak and then stopped, unsure of what exactly to say.

"What's wrong? What is it?" The vulnerability in Derek's voice shredded his already mangled heart just a little bit more. "It's me right? There's something wrong with me that makes me unlovable, right?"

Stiles choked? Derek thought he was unlovable? Stiles loved Derek to the point where he repeatedly turned down offers for much better positions, much better opportunities, and for what? A few hours a day with Derek to go home alone at night? The sliver of hope that if he made himself essential to Derek's life, that Derek would return his feelings? Nope. Apparently Derek wasn't the one who was unlovable.

"There is nothing wrong with you Hale," he finally said. "Anyone would be lucky to have you as their husband."

 "That's not what Jennifer said yesterday." Derek replied.

"You spoke with Jennifer?" Stiles was shocked. "Tell me, please tell me you did not ask her to marry you."

"She was the last person I dated." Derek's voice was small. "She'd wanted marriage and a family then. I was just testing the waters."

"Dude! If dating her didn't work out, why the hell do you think marrying her would?"

Derek shrugged. It was a small defeated gesture. "She always seemed more interested in what I could do for her, what I could give her rather than me as a person. I figured it might have been enough if she didn't have to put up with my presence too much."

Stiles stood up in outrage and pointed a finger at Derek.

"That! That right there is why you are not allowed to make life decisions on your own!" His voice was hard but not louder."You, Hale, are fucking worthy of love and whoever you marry had better love you." The 'as much as I do' remained unsaid.

Stiles sighed. "Damn.....I'm going to have to do this."

He glanced at his watch. "But it is going to have to wait. You have some killer meetings today and we need to do our daily pre-meeting prep."

He picked up Derek's now empty breakfast plate before asking, "Do you at least know what you're looking for in your spouse?"

Derek smiled. "I have some ideas. What are you doing after work? Do you want to get dinner with me?"

His heart stuttered. It sounded like Derek was maybe asking him out. "Dinner?" 

 "Yeah, we can chat about the sterling qualities of my future bride at dinner. I mean, if you don't already have plans."

Stiles sighed. "Yeah, that's me, no plans. Dinner it is then."

 "Great. You can let me know where you make the reservations and I'll swing by your place and pick you up."

 "Whoa there mister," Stiles scoffed. "Back the truck up. Why am I making dinner reservations?"

Derek's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "But you always make my reservations for me."

"Yeah dude, that's business. If we need to get you into wooing shape to snag you a significant other, then you need to step up your game. No strike that - you need to acquire some game."

Those previously close together eyebrows parted ways and climbed higher on Derek's forehead.

"And you're going to school me on acquiring game?" Derek mocked. "Remind me again when you last went on a date?"

Stiles coloured. It had actually been years but Derek didn't know that for certain. He'd been too busy being hung up on Derek to date.

"So not about me Bossman," he spluttered. "You need a relationship Yoda? Your Yoda I will be."

Derek's grin at the pop culture reference warmed Stiles' heart.

"So...first lesson Padawan.....when you take the time to make plans yourself, it shows the other party that they are important enough and that you are invested in the relationship."

Derek looked at Stiles intensely for a moment before nodding. "You know that I was an excellent student right? I was valedictorian "

"Yeah," Stiles agreed, eyes sparkling and lips stretched with mischief. "I did hear you were some sort of dick."

"Ha ha, laugh it up now Stilinski; but if you're going to be grading my wooing skills, you of all people should know how quick a study I am. Tonight is some sort of practice run? Well prepare yourself kid." Derek flashed him the one-raised-eyebrow 'challenge accepted' look. "I am going to woo the pants off of you!"

"In your dreams Hale," Stiles taunted before turning and walking out of the room.  He closed the door behind him and hand still on the knob, he leaned back against the wood and exhaled. "But more often in mine - definitely more often in mine."

His vision burred with wetness a little as it occurred to him that once Derek got married, he'd have to leave Hale Inc. There was no way he could stay and watch Derek be married to someone else. He might be a pathetic loser in love with his boss, but he wasn't a masochist.

A buzzing vibration in his pants pocket had him blinking away his tears and pulling out his phone. It was a text from Derek

 **To Stiles** : **_Hey, thank you. for everything. I don't know what I would do without you in my life."_**

He sniggered a little that Derek, the dork, had spelt out every word in the text. And then he sobered because, yeah...he could relate. He had no idea what he was going to do when he no longer had Derek in his life.


	3. Chapter 3

Derek was going to have a mental breakdown. There was no way to avoid it. He was going to lose his mind, then lose his company and it was all going to be Stiles' fault.

Last night, the dinner he planned was damned near perfect.  He'd made the reservations at a restaurant where he and Stiles had once met a client for dinner.  He remembered Stiles saying how much he loved the place and the food, but it was a bit out of his range. Stiles had mentioned that he'd have to wait for very special occasions to splurge and go back. So he'd surprised Stiles by taking him there.

It was perfect. The candlelit table was off to the side and so not in the middle of everything. The setting was romantic, with music soft enough to bridge a gap in conversation but not loud enough to require raised voices. They had settled into their usual conversational banter within minutes of being seated, poking fun at each other and Derek couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed so much on a date. And that there was the problem. _Derek couldn't remember the last time he'd enjoyed himself so much on a date because it wasn't a date._

 So he'd panicked and, desperate for a distraction, pulled out his Blackberry to give himself a break from the sudden rush of confusion he felt.  Of course with his luck, there was a demanding email from Peter which required an immediate response and that led to another email from Peter, and before he knew it, he was responding to all the emails in his inbox. This pissed Stiles off to no end. In his defence, they were fairly important issues but that didn't matter to Stiles, who scowled at him before grabbing the phone and shoving it into his pocket.

"Damn it Stiles," he'd hissed, "I need my phone back."

Stiles had cocked a eyebrow at him. " Sure thing...after dinner."

"Stiles."  That had been a growl. Definitely a growl. "It's important."

"Yeah?" Stiles looked unimpressed. "And the last five emails? Were they important too? Lesson number two Padawan...a good husband never ignores his partner on a date and especially not to answer emails. You can do that back at the office tomorrow."

Derek had curled his fingers into fists in his lap. He couldn't explain the irritation and confusion he felt. It seemed as if something was changing and he didn't know what exactly but it worried him.

"Why do you care?" he'd all but snarled. "It's not like this is a real date."

Stiles faced had paled instantly, eyes widening with something akin to horror and Derek would forever regret being the reason for making Stiles feel like that.

"You...you're right," he stammered. "I'm sorry Derek. This is pointless. I should go."

As Stiles placed Derek's phone on the table between them, Derek had placed his hand on top of Stiles'. "No. I'm sorry Stiles. You are helping me here. I am being an ass."

He squeezed Stiles' hand gently before letting go. "Please don't go. Let's stay and salvage what we can of this lesson."

Stiles had looked at him for a bit before nodding. The phone stayed on the table between them but by the time they were finished eating and ready to leave, things felt like familiar ground between them. Their usual banter was unusually subdued but even when things were uncomfortable, Derek found that he still enjoyed being with Stiles.

 Which brought them to Derek's current loosening grip on his sanity. It was the middle of the work day and they were at a baseball game of all things.  Lesson number three was apparently bringing down the priority of work within the relationship balance. Stiles, ever the devious con artist, had swiped Derek's phone to prevent him from sneakily checking in - a fact Derek did not discover until after he'd faked having to go to the bathroom. Only once he was secured in the stall, he couldn't find his phone. He'd been panicking thinking he'd lost it somewhere until he saw the smirk on Stiles face coupled with a look that said _'Oh, really had to go to the bathroom, did you_?'.  Did he mention that 'Damn! Stiles Stilinski knew him so well'? Well he did.

"You have my phone, don't you?"

"Yup." Stiles popped the 'p' sound on the end of the word like it was bubble gum. Derek found that very annoying. "We're supposed to be getting away from work."

"I am away from work." Derek was aware that he sounded like a petulant child. Stiles just smiled, not even looking at Derek, eyes focussed on the diamond. "You win."

Still not looking at Derek, Stiles nodded.

"Can I at least have my phone back?"

Stiles ignored him.  Derek crossed his arms over his chest and turned towards the field. It was during working hours on a workday. Why couldn't he check his emails? Who knew what crisis was brewing without him at the office? He glanced surreptitiously at Stiles who was still ignoring him but jumping up and down excitedly whilst catcalling the players .As Derek turned his own attention to the game, he thought   _'I am going to hate every minute of this'_.

_Derek loved every minute it._ He was always a huge baseball fan and had once harboured dreams of being a professional player as a kid. He'd forgotten how much he loved the game over the years, choosing to focus all his time and energy on saving his parents company instead. But being outside in the sun, cheering for the local team, soaking up Stiles' contagious enthusiasm, Derek almost felt happy and at peace. He hadn't felt that in so long.

He looked at Stiles only to find the young man sporting a huge grin and he clapped and cheered. Once again he found himself thinking how fine the young man had grown up. Derek felt a little mesmerized by the moles that dotted his skin and wondered how many and where they all were.  Stiles looked so carefree and sizzled with an energy that reminded Derek of a comet. Derek wanted to hang on for dear life and travel with him until they both burned right out of existence. Then Stiles turned to him and spontaneously hugged him. Instinctively Derek hugged back  Yup he was loving every minute of this day.

When they broke apart though, Stiles had an odd look on his face that Derek didn't understand. It seemed almost bitter with a tinge of anger...and maybe sadness. He wondered if he did something wrong.

"You did good Dude," Stiles voice trembled a bit though he was still smiling, if awkwardly. "Let's hope your wife is a baseball fan like you are."

Ah yes, that's why they were here. The reminder diluted the sweetness of Stiles' praise.

"Well, if she isn't,  I can always come to games with you. We're sort of friends, right?" asked Derek.

"Yeah...umm...sure. Friends." Stiles sounded weird and Derek wondered if Stiles was only humouring him and didn't actually think that they were more than simply employer/employee. That thought concerned him so much it wasn't until days later that he wondered how Stiles knew he was a baseball fan.

Later on when he dropped Stiles home, Stiles invited him up for dinner since Derek paid for the day's adventure and meals. Derek offered to pick up some take out (which he'd planned on having anyway) but Stiles shot down that idea saying that he already had a homemade lasagna in the fridge that would take fifteen minutes to heat up while they put together a salad and some garlic bread.  So that's what they did.

Derek had been to Stiles' small apartment several times before to pick him up or drop him off but he'd never spent any time inside it. He was surprised to see how warm and inviting it was. Whereas Stiles was uber-organized at the office, there was a mild sense of clutter to his home that was more comfortable and relaxed rather than messy. There were pictures of his family and friends scattered throughout, along with knick knacks and souvenirs that seemed odd to Derek but no doubt had wonderful memories and stories tied to them. Suddenly his own apartment, which was easily four times as big and professionally decorated, seemed cold and sterile by comparison. Derek was beginning to understand why it was so easy for him to spend so many nights at the office. He couldn't help but think that if he had somewhere like this, Stiles' place, to come home to, he might go home a lot more often.

 After they finished cleaning up, they both sat down on the sofa with a couple of beers. They sat in silence for a while, simply enjoying the quiet together. ' _What a perfect day',_ Derek thought to himself. _I'm so lucky to have Stiles in my life. He gets me like no one else ever has._

Stiles' head dropped backwards on the back of the sofa and he shimmied down to make himself more comfortable. Derek looked across at Stiles, laying there, head back, eyes closed and mouth just a tiny bit open. He looked adorable and Derek found his cheeks warming up as a flush of something he couldn't identify flooded through his body. If Stiles were a woman, Derek would be so tempted to lean over and cover his mouth with his own but he wasn't and Derek wanted....wait! Whaaaaaaah? What the hell was wrong with him? He needed a wife, not to fuck things up with the best assistant (and probably friend) he'd ever have.

Derek wasn't homophobic but he'd only ever been with women. And even if he was feeling things - unexpected things - it would be so unfair to Stiles to act on any of it, only to discover that it couldn't work between them.  He'd hurt Stiles and possibly lose him and neither of those options was acceptable. He got up abruptly, jarring Stiles alert as he did so.

"I had a great time today Stiles," he offered. "Thank you. It's like you gave me back something I hadn't realised I'd lost. And dinner was so good. Really good. Who knew that  you were such a good cook?"

From his seat on the couch, Stiles looked up at him. "You did dude. I make your breakfast sandwich every day."

Derek was stunned. "You make it? I thought you bought it from a coffee shop somewhere."

The expression on Stiles face clearly told Derek he was a clueless idiot. Derek reached down and grabbing Stiles hand, pulled him off the couch.

"Well thank you for all of it then. Today was special and much appreciated."  He hugged Stiles briefly, a quick hug, afraid to hold on too long.  As they parted, he was once again struck by the urge to kiss Stiles. The dreamy eyed look Stiles was sending his way didn't help. _Dreamy eyed? Get it together Hale, you're losing it. Stiles may be bisexual but you're not and Stiles certainly has never expressed interest in you_ , he counselled himself harshly as he headed for the door. He was out the door and headed down the hall before he could give in to stupid insane impulses.

"Hale!" Stiles called to him. "Come back Dude. You forgot something."

_To kiss you senseless_? The thought popped into his head before he could tamp down on it. Looking at Stiles sparkling eyes and wicked grin, Derek felt a moment of hope and confusion.

Stiles jabbed a finger to his chest, trailed it upwards and then flicked Derek in the nose with it, laughing as Derek crinkled his eyes and nose in response.

"You can't leave without this," said Stiles. "Not when we both know you spent all day wanting it."

 Derek laughed too and had begun to unknowingly lean into Stiles when he felt something slapped against his chest. He looked down and his stomach fell. It was his phone.

"Umm....yes. Thank you Stiles."

Derek grabbed the phone and strode down the hallway. He could hear Stiles say his name uncertainly and knew that he was confusing the younger man. He kept walking though. He didn't even stop at the elevators, taking the stairs two at a time as if he could out run this feeling of being a fool.


	4. Chapter 4

Stiles Stilinski was in a very good mood. As he made his way to the office, he couldn't help but grin widely. After a lifetime of longing for the unattainable, he suddenly had hope that maybe...just maybe...what he wanted was not out of reach after all.

Yesterday with Derek had been one of the best days in his life. He hadn't seriously expected Derek to agree to a mid week, mid-day ditch the office for a ball game scheme. It was rather a spur of the moment thing on his part but ever the eager student, Derek had gone along with him and they'd had the most awesome day together.

The sun was shining and the skies were blue and glorious. It was not too hot but just the right sort of warm to be outdoors at a game. Being in the stands with Derek, cheering on the home team had been so much fun, that even Mr. All-Work-No-Play Hale had to give in and just enjoy himself.  Of course Stiles had to steal the man's phone beforehand to achieve it, but it was so worth it in the long run. By the end of the game, a few beers and hot dogs in, Derek's cheeks were ruddy with excitement and Stiles' heart had been in danger of exploding. He hadn't seen Derek like this since they were kids and Derek was either playing baseball or basketball, or hanging out in the Preserve, with his friends. _Best day ever_! Stiles made the declaration to himself.

But then, beyond all expectation, it got even better. Derek stayed over for dinner for the first time since...well, ever. It wasn't a planned thing on his part - to have Derek over for dinner. In fact, he'd invited his boss over on many many occasions during their time working together. Only Derek had always declined. Last evening he didn't decline though. Last night he stayed and it may have just changed Stiles's life forever. There had been times when Stiles had caught a certain look in Derek's eye. It was a certain shift of the eyebrow, an awe or wonderment as he looked at Stiles, and sometimes, Derek would look at Stiles just a little too long or stand just a little too close. Whenever  that happened, Stiles' traitorous heart would jump in excitement and he'd think _'There! There IS a tiny piece of Derek Hale that wants me_'. He'd then promptly renew his subscription to hope and new fantasies of happily ever after would populate the far recesses of his brain and Stiles would be almost content.

But then the moment would pass and it was as if it had never existed, as if Stiles had simply imagined it all. Those were particularly difficult times for Stiles as he struggled to manage the depth of his feelings for Derek. He often thought about leaving Hale Inc but that would mean leaving Derek and he wasn't ready to do that yet.

Last night however, there was no way he mistook the look in Derek's eyes or the message of his body language. Hale, when Stiles called him back for his phone, was leaning into Stiles, eyes laughing, lips parted, cheeks flush with anticipation. Derek Hale had been about to kiss him! He was sure of it. Derek Hale had wanted him and was on the cusp of expressing that desire! Stiles wasn't sure why Derek aborted at the last minute but he still wanted to pump his fist in the air with victory. This was real progress. Derek needed to get married. Derek wanted him. There was no reason why Derek couldn't marry him. Together they could save the company and find a happy ever after.

When he got to his office which was just next door to Derek's, Stiles smiled widely and winked at the administrative assistant assigned to them both.  She angled her head towards his door and waggled her eyebrows suggestively. He laughed and shook his head in return. Mrs. Greenberg was a matronly angel who'd been shipping 'Sterek' from the first day he'd started working there.  Nothing she did surprised him. He was however surprised to find Derek in his office, leaning against his desk, waiting for him.

"Wonderful," Derek opened, "you're here early. We have a ton of paperwork to review this morning and I thought it's be faster if we chunked out the pieces we needed to get done between us."

Stiles was a quite taken aback.

"Good morning to you too Derek," he said as he reached into his messenger bag to pull out the breakfast sandwiches he's made for them.  He passed one over to Derek but Derek just stood there looking at the sandwich as if it were a life or death cryptogram that he needed to decode.

"Dude, I know it's not on a plate or anything but I saw you swallow that hot dog yesterday so I know you're not that much of a snob. Go on, take it before I develop a complex or something."

Stiles was smiling as he said it but his confidence did waver for a second. As Derek took the wrapped sandwich from him, Stiles pulled out his own and waited for Derek to say something - like maybe how he'd had a great time yesterday and wanted to do it again. Or maybe ask about what was next on the marriage-making agenda. Or if he really wanted to go all out, confess a burning desire and never ending love for Stiles. Okay, so maybe it was way too soon for that last one but Stiles, generous soul that he is, was willing to accept either option a) or option b) in its stead. Derek did neither.  He stood there sandwich in hand, looking very uncomfortable. Stiles was just about to ask why when Mrs G bustled in carrying two cups of coffee.

"Oh Stiles," she said. "I know you usually get these but I thought I'd save you the trouble today so you and Young Mister Hale can get right down to business."

Can you say 'untimely interruption'? 

Derek heaved  a sigh and reached across to take one from her, letting her place the other cup on Stiles' desk. He thanked her, noting that he and Stiles did have a significant amount of work to review.  She nodded in acknowledgement but when she turned around to leave, she winked at Stiles on her way past him.

Stiles stood immobile in his office resisting the urge to scratch his head like a clueless cartoon character. Derek however had found the momentum to move forward.

"I've left the Whittemore presentation and the  corresponding legal briefs on your desk. The rest of the files are with me in my office." His tone was all business. There was none of the previous day's laughter or the previous night's tenderness. "Once you get through with those, come join me and we can begin to structure the reports."

With that, Derek picked up his coffee and sandwich and headed out to his own office.

Stiles shrugged off the weight of disappointment that was beginning to settle on his shoulders. He should have expected this. They did in fact waste all of yesterday on the baseball adventure, which admittedly was his doing. He knew Derek and he should have anticipated that once Derek got back to the office and saw what was waiting for him, he'd want to immerse himself completely in work to alleviate any guilt he would have felt for 'abandoning the ship' like they did. 

This was not going to be a problem. Stiles would make sure that they recovered a sizeable amount of ground today so that Derek would be in a good mood and then bring up plans for that night's outing. Stiles didn't have anything planned specifically but it didn't matter. Any non-work time spent with Derek was a good thing.  It didn't matter where they went or what they did as long as they were together.

He took a look at the stack of paperwork that Derek had left on his desk and sighed. It was a good thing he had something to look forward to that evening. The day was going to be a hard one.

The day was in fact a very demanding one. Just when he thought they were making headway into their workload, Derek would pull out another immediate priority and wave it at Stiles. Despite hoping to squeeze in some personal time, Stiles saw little of Derek, both of them tied to their desks, and only in brief increments. Derek even had Mrs G act as a courier and messenger, ferrying papers and instructions between the office. At one point in the afternoon, Stiles even joked that it seemed as though Derek was avoiding him, hiding behind client files. It wasn't until well after five o'clock, that Stiles got a moment to ask Derek about that night.

 "About tonight…" Derek cleared his throat and then hesitated. "Umm...sorry Stiles. There is still so much left to be done, I think we'll have to skip tonight."

"We can eat late," Stiles countered. "I don't mind staying back with you for a couple more hours and then we can pick something up together."   

"Stiles, I can't ask you to do that."

"I don't mind Derek. You know this."

Derek took a breath but before he could decline the offer, Stiles continued. "You have to eat dude. I have to eat."

Derek rolled his neck and shoulders in that way he did to relieve tension and stiffness.

"Why don't you get some take out for you then," he suggested. "I'm fine."

Stiles rolled his eyes. "Derek..."

"I said I'm fine Stiles."

There was an edge to Derek's voice that Stiles didn't understand. He stood there looking at Derek whilst Derek looked at everything but him. Stiles did not like the unease that was creeping up inside him.

"Everything okay Derek?" he asked.

Derek nodded that it was and then got up from his desk and walked over to the window behind it. He looked outside, it was still light out, and without turning back dismissed Stiles for the day.

"Go home Stiles." His voice was soft but clear. " I’m sorry, but tonight, it’s just not going to work out.  Go home, have your dinner and get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be as bad as today."

"What about the lessons?"  Stiles was pleased that he managed to keep the rising tide of panic he felt out of the question.

"Not tonight Stiles." He sounded flat, almost defeated. "I'm not up for ... I think we should just put the lessons on hold till we catch up."

There were so many things he wanted to say in response to that but Stiles found that his voice refused to work. They were never going to catch up. There was nothing to catch up to as their workload was not any heavier than usual  He wanted to shout at Derek that he had less than seven weeks, there was no time to put anything on hold. They needed to do this now! But mostly he wanted to scream at Derek for once again giving him hope and then dashing it to pieces.

Stiles didn't scream though. What he did do was grab his bag and leave. Once outside he went to the fave nearby food truck and got dinner to go. Being outside and away from Derek helped clear his head. As he waited for the food to be prepared, he thought about his life and where he was headed. He thought about this scheme Derek had to find a wife.  He thought about his own place in Derek's life. He collected the food, turned around and went back to Hale Inc. 

Stiles strode into Derek's office.

"Stiles? What are you doing...I thought you'd left."

Stiles didn't say anything to Derek. He simply took out the food container earmarked for Derek, placed it on his desk and then exited. He went to his own office where he spent the next two hours finishing a business proposal for a new client. He ate as he worked and he made sure his door was closed. There were things he had to work through befre he saw or spoke to Derek again.

It was dark by the time he was done and the office was pretty much empty. His floor was actually deserted with the exception of the light spilling from Derek's office.  He walked in slowly as if still unsure that he was going there. Derek was standing in front of his desk, stapling some loose leaf pages together. He looked up, startled to see Stiles in the doorway.

"You're an asshole," Stiles bit out as he stalked closer to the man. "An asshole and a coward."

Now in front of him, Stiles jabbed a finger at his chest. They were pretty much eye to eye. 

"But I've been a coward too," Stiles continued. "But I'm done with that bullshit. You don't want anymore lessons? Fine.  No more lessons. You don't need them anyway. What you do need is to be married. So marry me."

Derek's eyes widened. Stiles didn't know if it was in shock or in horror. He did know that he definitely had Derek's attention.

'Stiles..."

"No bullshit Derek," Stiles interrupted. "You want me. I know you do. I want you. We are already partners in every sense of the word but that. So this is me, laying it all on the line. Make an honest man out of me. Fucking Marry Me Derek."

Derek stuttered and Stiles could feel him fumbling for words - words Stiles didn't want to hear. He had to stop them. He grabbed hold of Derek's tie and yanked him forward and covered his mouth with his own.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for all the positive vibes you're sending via kudos and comments- especially you Lidil. :)

Stiles grabbed Derek's tie and wrenched him closer taking his mouth in a hard kiss. The moment his lips touched Derek's, Derek tensed, body rigid. Horrified, he pulled back.  Oh Fuck! What had he done? But then, suddenly, Derek reached for him, dragged him in and began to kiss him back.

Holy double fuck!

Derek's arms were wrapped around his body , one resting low on his hips, the other, across his back holding him in place. His mouth pressed against Stiles with an urgency Stiles had only dreamed about. Stiles melted into the kiss, draping his own arms on Derek's shoulders, around his neck. He slid his fingers into the older man's hair like he'd dreamt so many times of doing. He couldn't believe this was actually happening. For years he’d imagined Derek's kisses, but nothing in his wildest, most daring imaginings had come close to the real thing. Angling his head, he deepened the kiss, pushing for even more.  

Nothing in his life had prepared Derek for the passion in Stile's kiss. Derek was no inexperienced ingénue but he'd never been affected like this before. He licked into Stiles' mouth like he was desperate for every last taste of it. He shuddered from the feel of Stiles's lean body pressed against the length of his. He slid his hand over the smooth curve of Stiles' ass, pushing his fingers against the firm muscle. Derek could feel himself hardening against Stiles' hipbone and he bore down on it, relishing the sparks of pleasure.

Stiles pushed back himself, crowding Derek until he hit the desk behind him.  Half sitting, Derek began to pull Stiles's shirt out of the back of his pants, wriggling and working his fingers until they hit warm skin underneath the cloth and suddenly it wasn't enough for him. He wanted more.  He tilted his head back as Stiles dragged his mouth down Derek's jaw and latched his lips on to his neck.  That was sure to leave a mark, but Derek didn't care. He kept pulling at Stiles shirt to gain access to more skin. He wanted to leave a few marks of his own.

He slid his hand up under the shirt, marvelling at the sensations, the smooth inviting warmth sent shooting through him. It wasn't enough. He was now harder than he could ever remember being and his body was crying out for more. He wanted to be sliding into Stiles. He groaned thinking of how good that would feel; pushing his cock into the hot moist sweetness of Stiles. He wanted that. Stiles against him was hot and moist. He felt Stiles pressing his own erection into Derek's groin and he almost came in his pants from all that hot hardness. Hot. Hard. Moist. Male.

Male.

Derek was making out with a man. Not just any man, he was making out with Stiles.

Startled at the realization, he shoved Stiles back. 

Stiles thinking it was part of the foreplay, came at him again and this time Derek shoved even harder, causing the young man to stumble.

"What the fuck, Derek?" He stood a couple steps away from Derek, hair disheveled, clothing askew and breathing hard.

Derek stared at him. He looked so good, standing there wide-eyed, pale skin flushed with desire and his lips swollen from being thoroughly kissed.  Derek had never felt more desire, more confusion and more of an asshole.

This was Stiles. _Stiles_.  His man Friday, his sanity and his saviour. He was the reason Derek and Hale Inc was still surviving.  Stiles was too valuable to him for him to screw it up. He couldn't do this to Stiles. He couldn't do this to them. Stiles meant too much to him to risk hurting.

 And yet, he'd kissed him. He'd done more than kiss him. Derek knew he'd crossed the line. Hell, he'd probably crossed more lines than he could count considering that Stiles was not just an employee to Derek. Stiles was way more than an employee _but he was also still an employee._

Stiles looked at him with a head tilt and a squint as if he was trying to see past inside Derek's head and into his soul.

"I know that look Derek," he said. "You're over thinking things. Please don't over think this."

Derek didn't acknowledge his words but stepped back and around, effectively placing the desk between them. Stiles rolled his eyes and groaned in frustration.

"I shouldn’t have done that." His voice was soft and contrite.

"I’m the one who kissed you."  Stiles' voice was the opposite; hard and unrepentant.

Stiles had kissed him first. Derek wanted to ask why but in the end, his reasons didn’t matter. Derek was responsible for letting things escalate like they did.

"Yes, you did, ," he said. " But I kissed you back. And Stiles, I’m your boss."

Again with the eye roll, Stiles snorted.

"Well I’m not exactly planning to stop by Human Resources on my way out. That’s not something you need to be worried about."

Derek nodded.

"That's a legitimate concern but it’s not just that," he admitted. "You know how important you are to me. I am more concerned that the kissing might interfere with our ability to work together."

Stiles frowned in puzzlement. "You’re more concerned about our working relationship? I don't understand."

"Of course I am Stiles," he replied. "You're more than my assistant. You're my advisor, my Chief of Staff. You're the best thing to ever happen to Hale Inc. I wouldn't want to fuck that up."

Biting his lower lip, Stiles thought about what Derek was saying. Derek could see the cogs of his brain turning in the way his eyes darted upward and around the room. Derek waited, confident that Stiles would see it from his perspective. After a few minutes of silence, Stiles sighed and cast his eyes downward.

"So the kiss..." he began in a questioning tone. "The kiss..."

"The kiss a mistake," Derek finished for him.

"A mistake." Stiles repeated dully.

Derek felt like an absolute heel.

"It was my mistake," he said trying to soften his decision. "It was wonderful and exciting and I can't say I wish it had never happened. But none of that matters Stiles. Whether or not you feel like I harassed you, or HR gets involved, or it was consensually pleasurable for the both of us, I am your employer and what happened tonight was just plain wrong. I abused my power and your trust."

He caught his breath before continuing, " It won’t happen again. I’m sorry."

Stiles blinked back the wetness in his eyes. He looked as if he was searching for certain words to give to Derek but then he exhaled heavily in defeat.

 "I’m sorry too," he said and then turned around and left the office.

Derek watched him go. He stood there rooted to the spot listening to the sounds of Stiles collecting his things and then leaving.

" _I’m sorry too_ " Stiles had said. He wondered if he was sorry because they'd kissed or because it could never happen again.

Derek shook his head as if to jiggle the thoughts right out of it. He had to pull it together. He couldn't let himself be weak. As employer, he was responsible and accountable for them both. It was up to him to do the right thing for both their sakes. He was used to doing the right thing.

–

Fuck Derek Hale and Hale Inc! The kiss wasn’t a mistake.

Stiles took a gulp from the cold beer in his hand and moved his pity party out on the fire escape outside his bed room window.  He sat cross legged on the metal and leaned back against the brick.

Derek Hale could feed himself whatever lies he wanted to, but that didn't mean Stiles had to float down that river with him.  Stiles wasn't a fool. Not anymore. Not any longer. Sooner or later, Derek was going to have to figure out what was really important in life but it wasn't Stiles' responsibility to help him get a clue. Stiles was so done with this bullshit!  He had spent years running himself ragged, trying to anticipate Derek's every need. But no more. He had his own needs to worry about and it was time he put those needs first.

Tonight had made things so much clearer. He did not regret kissing Derek. He was actually quite proud that he’d gone after what he wanted. He probably should have done it a long time ago. But that didn't matter anymore. He wasn't looking back and there was definitely no going back. From now on, forward was the only direction for Stiles. Looking and moving forward.

Countless times he had accused Derek of having no life, but the truth was, he was just as guilty. He had been too busy working and building his place at Hale Inc and too busy pining over Derek, loving him from a distance, to build a life for himself outside of his job. He had focussed all his energies on becoming - on being what Derek needed, on what he thought Derek wanted him to be - that somewhere he forgot to be himself, to look after himself. 

But that ended tonight. It was time to put away the teenage fantasies and grow the fuck up. He took a swig from the beer bottle once more and then reached into his pants pocket to pull out his phone. The screen glowed its pale neon blue as he thumbed through his list of contact. He pulled up the number and then changed his mind, hitting the back button instead.

"Fuck" he swore at himself. "You can do this."

Taking a deep breath, he shivered and shook off his nerves. Quickly, before he could chicken out, he retrieved the number once more and hit 'Call'. He chewed his lips as he waited. And then it was time.

"Hey Lyds."


	6. Chapter 6

 Derek Hale sat at a table to the back of the coffee shop, a large coffee in front of him and his Blackberry in his hand. He was waiting for an old friend from his New York days, and being a few minutes early, he took the opportunity to scroll through his emails and wonder what was going on with his life. It had been a week since the night he and Stiles kissed and nothing had gone the way he had expected it to.

For instance, he’d thought it would have been awkward between them the next day, but it wasn’t. Stiles had come into work every day since, with a smile on his face, and was his uber-efficient self. He also thought that perhaps Stiles would want to talk about what had happened between them – to press the issue or at the very least gain further explanation or some sort of closure. Stiles never brought it up. In fact he steered all conversation away from the personal and kept it strictly on business. If  Derek had been concerned about their professional relationship being affected by the kissing, then he could not have been more wrong because their working relationship had never been more professional and business centric.

Derek sighed because that was the problem, wasn’t it? He and Stiles had never had a strictly business relationship, not when Stiles nurtured like a Mother Hen, cared with every atom in his being and had been his only real friend for months now. Derek could admit that he missed it.

Twice in the past week he stayed overnight in the office. Stiles came in on the mornings after to find Derek all rumpled in the previous day’s clothes and had made absolutely not a single comment on it. In fact, Derek teased him about it on the second occasion with “You’re not going to lecture me about sleeping in my office instead of my bed?”

Stile simply shrugged and responded, “You’re an adult, responsible for your own life Derek. It’s not my job to be concern about who’s sleeping in your bed.”

Derek hadn’t said anything to that. He didn’t know what to say.

But that wasn’t all that was off about Stiles. For the past week, every time Derek turned around, Isaac Lahey was with Stiles.  Derek knew and liked Isaac. He was a good worker, a bit on the quiet side but always reliable, eager to learn and one of the few people in the company that Derek had worked with on projects and didn’t feel like strangling them.  He had seen them hanging out together every now and again over the years, but never got the impression that they were particularly close -except for this past week. Five out of five days, he found them together, at several different points during the day as well. He didn’t get it. He knew that he’d been quite clear with Stiles that there could be nothing between them, so was Isaac a sort of rebound deal; someone to distract him and help him keep things uncomplicated with Derek? That thought did not sit well with Derek.  

He thought of the possibility of Stiles kissing Isaac the way he’d kissed Derek and the coffee he’d been drinking suddenly turned sour in his stomach. This shouldn’t be an issue for him. He’d considered and then decided against pursuing anything with Stiles. So it shouldn’t bother him if Stiles had been able to move on the very next day. In fact, that should reinforce that he’d made the right decision. It just proved that Stiles hadn’t really been serious.

“Marry me Derek,” Stiles had said to him though.  Despite not believing that Stiles had meant those words to be any more than an easy resolution to Derek’s financial problems, the sound of it bounced around inside his skull like a ghost trapped but determined to be heard. He thought about it all the time. It was driving him crazy. It would be the simplest thing in the world to marry Stiles. He wanted to. They fit each other perfectly in every aspect of their lives. Stiles knew him inside out and still cared about him. Stiles understood his crazy schedule and singular drive when it came to Hale Inc., and he supported him through it all. Stiles knew as much about his family’s legacy as he did and it mattered to Stiles as much as it did to him. It had to; he was willing to marry Derek to save it. From every angle he looked at it, marrying Stiles made sense and felt right.

Except for one; Stiles wasn’t exactly the traditional bride he pictured standing next to him. Over the past week, Derek had thought in great detail about what a male/male relationship would be like for him. He’d always considered himself straight though he never entertained homophobic thoughts.  He was respectful of all people and all forms of love. Yet until Stiles, he’d simply never been attracted or romantically interested in another man. Hell, he’d never even experimented at college despite a lot of opportunity to do so. Nope. He’d always been as straight as a pin and if he was being honest, he still considered himself straight. He’d been looking at men the past week, trying to figure out if he was in fact bisexual but had come up with nothing. Not even the slightest spark of interest, despite being able to classify some men as typically handsome, or physically pleasing to the eye. So yeah, he was not really gay or bisexual.

And that’s why he couldn’t pursue anything with Stiles. Stiles had quietly worked his way into every strand of Derek’s existence, to the point that he couldn’t imagine a life without him. Yes, right now he was caught up in the euphoria of finding the one person on this planet completely in sync with him and yes, his body was reacting in a million different ways that he so desperately wanted to explore, and yes more than anything Derek wanted to want men long term so that he could comfortably marry Stiles without worrying about hurting him later. But wanting to be gay or bisexual didn’t make it so. As much as he enjoyed making out with Stiles, what if they’d gotten to actual intercourse and Derek had reacted badly? Having never been with someone, he couldn’t predict how he’d respond and he’d never want to hurt Stiles by creating a situation where Stiles believed that Derek found him (and the way he loved physically) disgusting. Nope. It was better to close that door now.  Derek knew that he was right the night he shut down Stiles and he knew that he was still right at that very moment. So why didn’t that make him feel any better?

A shadow fell across his table prompting him to look up at the young woman in front of him.

“Should the Blackberry be scared that its’ days are numbered?” she joked. “The saying 'if looks could kill' comes to mind.”

"Braden!" Derek got up and hugged his old friend. "You look fantastic! I see you had some work done."

He jokingly gestured to the three scars that graced the column of her throat. She laughed in response - a merry sound.

"The perks of being a U.S. Marshall," she responded. "Actually I got these beauties taking out a paedophilic monster. The bastard had fashioned some metal claws and he caught me distracted for a second."

"Is he still alive?" asked Derek.

He knew that Braeden was very good at her job. She had been working towards being a Marshall since she was twelve years old and was rigid about her training at college, often declining invitations because it conflicted with her work out schedule. It was how they first met - at the gym at five in the morning and they were the only ones there. What developed was a wonderful friendship, respect for each other's goals and choices and occasionally, some of the best sex Derek had ever engaged in.  They never dated - she did not do monogamous relationships by choice and he wasn't ready for one based on life experience. So what they had worked well for them and when they graduated, it was on great terms and a weekend, the memory of which still makes Derek smile.

Braeden shot him a coy look.  "Now, now, that's classified Derek."

They both broke out laughing. The barista called out her name signalling that the drink she'd ordered was ready.

"Let's get that to go," Derek suggested. "I feel like walking for a bit, if you don't mind."

She didn't, so that's what they did.

They walked along the street in silence for a bit before cutting across the road to enter a small park in the middle of the down town area. It was surprisingly not crowded and when they spotted the empty swings, they made their way over and claimed the seats. Derek was sure they made quite the picture, him in his business suit and her looking all badass with her beautiful dark skin, and her black leather jacket, jeans and boots. Back on campus, people always mistook them for a couple and often said how great they looked together.

"So tell me, Hale," she invited. "I know you well enough to know when your brain is in overdrive. What's got you in a spin?"

It never occurred to Derek not to tell her. Being with her now, was as easy as it was back then, and truth be told, given the emotional distance Stiles had been projecting, he was glad to have a friend at hand. He needed somebody to talk with and in this instance, it couldn't be Stiles. So he spilled. He told her everything; from the state of the company, how close he was to losing it, the three million dollars in trust, the plan to find a wife and then the whole mess he'd made of things with Stiles. She listened without interrupting, occasionally just reaching over to pat him reassuringly on the back. Then when he was done, she digested it all for a couple of moments, pushing off gently to swing back and forth next to him. She slowed, then stopped and then turned her head to look at him directly.

"Are you sure you don't want to try with Stiles?" she questioned. "It sounds like you two are perfect for each other."

"That's the thing, Brae," he replied. " If I didn't care about him as much as  I do, I would try. I'd marry him and all my problems would disappear. I mean, even if I treated him like shit because I realised I wasn't into sex with  a man and was stuck with a husband, he'd stay with me to make sure I didn't lose the company. He's that good of heart."

"But I can't do that to him," Derek continued. "He deserves everything good in this world, not some shitty selfish jerk who is using him for personal gain."

"You don't sound like a 'shitty selfish jerk who is using him for personal gain'," she countered. "In fact, you sound more than a little in love with him."

Derek laughed bitterly. "I thought we were friends because we didn't believe in crap like love."

"I don't know Der. Your little boy/boy drama may make me a believer yet."

Derek shoved at her, trying to push her off the swing but she was ready for him, grabbing his chains to hold steady. They just looked at each other and grinned like children.

"So how much time do you have left on the counter?" she asked.

"Three and a half weeks." The looming deadline was enough to dissipate his smile.

"Tell you what Derek. I am off duty for the next six months. I have some work related things to close off over the next three days but how about you book an appointment at the court house for two weeks time and I'll marry you so you can collect the money you need to save the company. "

"Braeden, what are you saying? I can't.." he interrupted, brows furrowed with uncertainty.

"No, no, hear me out," she persisted. "I'm a last resort, but we know and understand each other Derek. And it'd be nice to have a friend to come home to, you know? We can use the next six  months to see if we can make a lasting run of this and even if we get claustrophobic, I'll be off on assignments for weeks at a time, you'll be practically living at Hale Inc. making sure the company succeeds and we probably have a better chance at making this work than 90 percent of those fuckers with heart eyes and hard-ons for each other. At the very least, we'll have honesty working for us."

Derek thought about what she was suggesting. Last month he couldn't get anyone to spend 5 minutes with him if he wasn't paying them to and now he'd had two proposals in one week. Maybe he was a marriageable prospect after all. He wondered what Stiles would think. 

"I just have one thing to say to that," he stated. "Yes Braeden, I will marry you."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was chapter was a little hard to write. Finding a balance between what was happening with Derek and what was happening with Stiles was tricky. I eventually abandoned that. The thing is this story is pretty much complete - the shell is anyway but this chapter strayed just a little. I know I've not been responding to comments. I've had some past experience where my response triggered some unpleasant tumblr interaction but I want you to know that I appreciate every word you take the time to write. Your comments and kudos are everything good. Thank you for all the support you have been giving.

Stiles glanced at his watch once more. It was only two minutes later than the last time he looked at it. He was beginning to feel on edge. Today was the day. His letter was neatly typed and printed, the back fill plan was a ‘go’; he could do this. He was ready to do this. He was going to do this. Well he would if Derek would get his ass into the office.  It figures that this day, of all days, would be the day Derek was absent and unaccounted for.

 

He got up and walked over to Derek’s office, smiling at Mrs. Greenberg as he approached.

 

“Any word yet Mrs. G?”

 

She shook her head. “Nothing yet Honey, but I can’t imagine he’ll be much longer. I know you’re worried because it’s out of character, but I think it’s a good thing. Maybe he’s finally taken your advice and is shifting his priorities?”

 

He shrugged and smiled in response. Her eyes fell to the folder in his hand.

 

“So, young man, you’re really going to do this.”  It should have been a question but it came out more like a statement.

 

He wasn’t surprised that she knew. He hadn’t been particularly secretive though he hadn’t been forthcoming either. Mrs. G however, well nothing happened at Hale Inc. that she didn’t have inside information on.  He nodded, the sudden lump of emotion clogging his throat and disabling his vocal chords.

 

“Good for you.” She said. “It will break my heart to not see you two together every day, but you boys had gotten into a rut."

 

Stiles scoffed softly. "Well that's one way of describing it."

 

Mrs. G looked at him with understanding and compassion.

 

"You came into his life at a time when everything – this company, the man himself – was broken. I think it all got healed wrong. Sometimes you need to re-break a bone in order to set it right, so that it heals the way it’s supposed to.”

 

That was…surprisingly insightful, he thought.  He gave her a wistful smile but couldn’t help but recognize that ‘ _the way it’s supposed to_ ’ doesn’t often equate to ‘ _the way I’d like it to’_.  He tried to come up with a suitable response but was drawing blanks, distracted by the weight of what he was about to do and the massive ripple effect it would ultimately have in his life.  Today was the last day of the life he’d known and was comfortable with. Tomorrow was uncharted territory.  It had him strangely quiet as he second-guessed everything he wanted to say.

 

Derek’s sudden arrival saved him from replying to Mrs. G however.  Hale bustled into the office, as impeccably suited as ever, and what the hell? Was that a smile? Stiles felt his jaw drop and his eyes widen. Derek Hale, ‘Mr.-I-Live-At-The-Office-And-Am-A-Slave-To-My-Agenda’, was behind schedule and instead of freaking out and barking orders on how to catch up, was two breaths shy of whistling. Stiles followed him into the bigger office on auto-pilot.

 

“What’s going on, Hale?” he asked directly, too agitated to indulge in small talk.

 

Derek dropped his briefcase on floor next to his filing cabinet and sat down behind his desk. Smiling, he gestured for Stiles to have a seat as well. "Sit, sit. We need to talk."

 

Stiles sat across from him, sliding the folder under his lap. "Uh...yeah we do. What's up?"

 

"I'm getting married."

 

The eye roll was epic. This is not what Stiles wanted to be talking about. While he was impressed that Derek was showing enthusiasm despite a rapidly approaching deadline, and no improvement on the romantic front, he'd worked hard to avoid this particular topic since that night. All he had to do was get through today and he would have been home free.  Damn Derek for messing that up.  He pulled the folder out from under his leg and rested it on his lap.

 

"That's not something we are going to talk about," he stated. "Professional relationship, remember?"

 

"You're also my friend, Stiles." Derek reasoned.

 

Stiles snorted, "When it comes to the subject of your marriage, what I am, is the person you refused to get hitched to, even if it was to save everything that was important to you, like your family's legacy, Hale Inc., your reason for living. So...yeah, how about we don't ?"

 

He surprised himself. That came out very bitter. He was not intending give away any emotion and the first thing that spills out of his river mouth sounded angry and hurt.  From the expression on Derek's face, he'd surprised his boss as well.

 

"Stiles," Derek began.

 

"No." came the immediate interruption. "No. No. No. We are not having this conversation. Everything that needed to be said, was said that night and we both know where we stand...and there is no need to rake us over them coals all over again. No siree."

 

Raking a hand through his hair, Stiles rolled his shoulders and tried cracking his neck. He focussed on breathing to stave off the tension he could feel creeping into him. He did not need this today.

 

"Was it all said?" Derek's voice was gentle. "Obviously there is some lingering issues here. I know there is for me."

 

Derek got up and walked around his desk. He came to a stop, in front of but next to Stiles. He sat with his butt on the edge of the desk, his hands at his side, gripping the table. He was facing Stiles' direction but since he was not directly in front of him, he did not look at the younger man, but stared at his shoes instead. There was a scuff on tip of his left one that he hadn't noticed before.

 

"You've been acting like the last six years didn't mean anything to me and you have to know that's not true. I didn't reject you Stiles. I rejected a situation where I was afraid to be the cause of pain in your life. And maybe I didn't say it right, and maybe I was wrong to give in to the kiss, and maybe I shouldn't have let more than a week go by without talking to you about it but we need to deal with this."

 

"Again, no." Stiles was firm. "Ancient history, dude."

 

"Damn it Stiles!"  Derek got up and walked over to the door. He asked Mrs. Greenberg to deflect all interruptions and then he closed the door behind him and resumed his position on the desk, but this time he looked at Stiles as he spoke.

 

"It's not ancient history because everything is changing," he said. "We were a team in every sense of the word and I fucked it up. We need to talk Stiles because I have to fix it.  _We_ have to fix it.  We can pretend to be civil and professional but we know it's not the same. I miss my friend. When something happens - anything at all - from as small as I misplaced my watch to my uncle trying to sell Hale Inc. out from under me, you're the first person I turn to tell.  You are not afraid to yell at me, tell me I'm an ass or why I'm wrong about something. I want that back Stiles."

 

The younger man had been studiously examining the wood grain pattern on Derek's desk to avoid eye contact. He exhaled a long slow breath and then turned to Derek.

 

"There's an awful lot about what you want and what you need in that pretty little speech." Stiles sniggered, "and isn't that typical of the real imbalance in our professional relationship and so called friendship?"

 

Derek was shocked. "Imbalance? Stiles, what are you talking about?"

 

"Where am I in the whole equation Derek? I've been here since I graduated and the pay raises and Christmas bonuses have been hella nice, no complaints there, but where has my career gone? When do I get to head a division and have staff reporting to me? Where has my personal life gone? Am I in a committed relationship with someone who loves and cherishes me? Umm, no. What's my social circle like? Do I volunteer? Play sports with a team somewhere? What do I do for vacation? When last did I travel with my dad? There are so many questions I've been asking to figure out what I've done with my life since leaving school, when my peers have shown so much personal and professional growth.  The only thing I've done is frickin' shadow you. I've bloody become Derek Hale two-point-oh-no."

 

"Oh my...Stiles"

 

"I am not blaming you Derek, he clarified. "I did this to myself. I made my choices. But things can't continue this way. You want things to go back? They can't. I am not Derek Hale. You are. Hale Inc. is not my family legacy and as much as I'd like to, I will never be part of the family or the legacy. So no more, Derek. No more."

 

He handed the folder to Derek who flipped it open and scanned the document inside.  Stiles flinched at the way Derek cringed and squeezed his eyes shut. By now his own eyes were watery and his breaths were coming in short sniffs.

 

"Please don't leave me Stiles." Derek pleaded, his voice earnest and anxious. "I've been a selfish asshole and I was just too comfortable having you all to myself. We can go to HR now and change this - fix this.  You can call your terms.  Whatever you want....just please don't leave me."

 

But he couldn't have what he wanted. He'd asked and the one thing that would truly make him happy was not something Derek was able to give him. He chewed at his bottom lip. "Derek, I already accepted a position elsewhere. I'm leaving today. I start my new job in two weeks but I need some time off to reorganize my life, spend some time with my dad and stuff."  

 

"You'd never leave me in the lurch." Derek was sure of it.

 

"You are right. I wouldn't. I've been training Isaac as my replacement and he's ready. The transitioning is complete, he's up to speed on all our files and he's good Derek. Really good. He's going to do amazing things here at Hale Inc."

 

Derek wanted to rail at Stiles for how sneaky and underhanded he'd been. He wanted to be angry - at Stiles, at himself, at the universe - because the one thing he never wanted to happen was happening. He was losing Stiles.  But he couldn't feel anything at all. There was a numbness that coated his skin and an emptiness that started at his core and radiated out, shutting down his senses. He looked at Stiles and tried to imagine his day without him. He came up with nothing.

 

"Where are you going?" he asked in a flat voice. "Did Martin scoop you after all?"

 

Stiles shook his head. "No. She connected me with Mahealani Software. I'm the new vice president of finance."

 

"That's incredibly impressive for someone so young. I am proud of you Stiles." Derek was proud of him.

 

"Danny is a former classmate of mine." Stiles smiled. "However, I wouldn't have gotten the job without the training and experience I gained here. So thank you Derek."

 

"I gave you nothing," he countered. "You've always made your own opportunities."

 

"We'll agree to disagree there." Stiles half smiled. "I feel really bad about leaving now, given the situation with Peter. I just couldn't stay any longer though. I hope someday you will forgive me."

 

Derek shrugged nonchalantly.

 

"Nothing to forgive," he said. "That situation has been resolved."

 

Stiles frowned, not understanding what Derek meant.  

 

"Resolved?" He questioned. "What happened? Did Peter retract his agreement with Omega? No, that's not it. You started this conversation with talk of your getting married, so that must still need to happen. What did you do Derek?"

 

Derek couldn't help the wave of familiarity that washed over him. Stiles worried about what Derek may have done was one of his favourite Stiles. There was something in the way he asked _What did you do Derek?_ that always made Derek smile. Of course what followed after was Stiles immediately launching into fix-it mode to undo any damage Derek had done. But that wasn't going to happen this time. There was not going to be a fix-it Stiles because there was not going to be a Stiles at Hale Inc. any longer. That was a sobering thought.

 

"Remember I was meeting with Braeden from my college days? I asked her to marry me....well actually she proposed to me and I said yes. That's why I was late this morning. Stopped off to make an appointment with the Justice of the Peace. The date is set for two weeks time."

 

Stiles felt as if all his internal organs stopped working. Derek was getting married to U.S. Marshall Braeden - What the hell was her last name? He couldn't remember. Maybe it wasn't that his organs weren't working, maybe it was his brain that stopped? It wasn't telling his heart to beat properly; it wasn't telling his lungs to breathe properly. His heart was beating faster and faster and stronger and stronger, until it felt as if it was crushing his chest from the inside. His breaths grew more shallow with each gasp like he couldn't get enough oxygen and he was dizzy and he had that pins and needles sensations in his hands and feet. He could hear Derek's voice continue to speak but could barely make out any words.  It felt like he was going crazy. It felt like he was dying.

 

"Stiles? Stiles?"

 

He wanted to call out to Derek but his mouth wouldn't work.

 

"Mrs. Greenberg!" Derek's shout echoed around inside his head which was beginning to feel heavier and heavier. He was sure  was going to pass out.  Derek's hand was holding his, pressing it against Derek's chest.

 

"Breathe with me Stiles. Breathe with me. Just match my breaths."

 

He could do that. He could try. Stiles focussed on breathing in time with Derek. In. Out. In. Out. Mrs. Greenberg was talking but he couldn't make out what she was saying. Something about distractions. It didn't matter. He had to focus on breathing. In. Out. In. Out. He didn't think it was working. Then Derek's hands were on his face and Derek's mouth was on his and the world stopped around him. His heart slowed, his breathing evened and all he could think of was the taste and feel of Derek and he heaved a sigh, his breath mingling with Derek's.

 

He hadn't even realized he'd closed his eyes until he was opening them as the two men pulled apart. Derek's hands were still cupping his face.

 

"Hey," Derek said quietly.

 

"Hey back," said Stiles. "I...umm...need to go."

 

"Stiles."

 

"No... Derek...just let me go."

 

He reached over and held Mrs G's hand and with as much dignity as he could muster, let her lead him out of the office and away from Derek.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! You guys! Thank you for the love.The support and positive vibes does things to me. It made me post this chapter sooner than I planned. I am going to be out of commission for the next three days (hospital thing) so I wont even be able to read your comments until I get back but I thought there is nothing better to come back to. Hope forgive the errors and that you get a moment to drop me a line. Thanks again!
> 
> Also there is mentions of sex in this chapter without actual sex. If you think I need to up the rating, let me know but this is as graphic as this story gets.

 

Braeden threw herself on the lounger next to Derek and snuggled into his side. On automatic, he wrapped his arms around her claiming the comfort she offered.  It had been four days since they agreed to get married and one day since she had wrapped up the details of her last assignment and came back to find Derek in a near catatonic state. Over the past twenty four hours, she'd watched her husband-to-be mourn the loss of possibly the most important person in his life, and it broke her heart. She supposed that as 'the fiancée' she should be offended by this display of heartache. but she was too real to get tied up in social construct. She and Derek had always been the best of friends and fuck buddies precisely because they didn't care about social norms. She loved him and she could not stand to see him depressed like this.

"Have you tried calling him?" She was tracing patterns with her fingertips on his chest because she knew it relaxed and felt good to him.

He did not answer.

Since her return, she'd been staying at Derek's apartment and though they shared a bed last night, it was simply as friends and nothing more. Derek was lost in a world inside his head and she could respect that.  When she'd called him to say she was back, she'd been surprised that he'd been willing to leave work and meet her back at his place.  Once there, the haggard, lost look of him concerned her greatly. She immediately ushered him out of his suit and into some sweats and called for delivery.  Forcing him to eat, she had been able to coax the story of Stiles' resignation, panic attack and departure from him over soup and snuggles.  She could understand why Stiles left Hale Inc.  She could also understand why Derek felt he was doing right by Stiles, given his sexual confusion. What she didn't understand was how the two men, who obviously cared so much for each other, and had already progressed to certain levels of emotional and physical intimacy, could be so stupid about their hearts.

Stiles was obviously in love with Derek. He'd stuck by Derek through thick and thin, and she well remembered the late night phone conversations when Derek would complain how stubborn the young man was and how he would not back down when he felt Derek was wrong about something and was putting the company at risk.  So why the hell was he backing down now, when Derek was wrong about their relationship and putting both their futures at risk? Derek always described him as 'ballsy'. She wasn't seeing that at all.

Derek on the other hand was one of the keenest analytical minds she knew.  He could dissect any financial risk to its core parts  and realign the components in a way that was a win-win for all involved. He'd bought into failing companies and restructured them, saving the company from insolvency, saving the employees from the unemployment line,  and securing the future of Hale Inc. for a little while longer. So why wasn't he approaching this from an analytical perspective? If the issue for Derek was not uncertainty about his feelings for Stiles, but his uncertainty on his feelings about sex involving two cocks and no vagina, then why wasn't he exploring that issue to confirm his reaction and opinion?

Better yet, why wasn't he exploring this 'brave new world' with the only man he really wanted to explore it with - Stiles?

_Sheesh!_ She thought. Men are so thick headed. If Derek and Stiles were both women, they would have been married four years ago. Suddenly an idea came to her.  Patting Derek on the chest, she jumped up and headed to the bedroom where her duffle bag was. Pulling out her laptop, she quickly navigated through a couple searches. It took a few moments but she found a couple options that could work, saving each one on a separate tab.  Satisfied, she picked up the laptop and went back out to Derek. He hadn't moved from the lounger.

"Sit up and scoot over," she ordered. "Make some room for me. I want to show you some stuff."

Derek raised an eyebrow at her to convey his feelings about moving but she just arched one of her own and added a smirk. The stare down lasted a couple of seconds and then, with a huge dramatic sigh, Derek lifted up and moved over to the side. She sat close next to him, mirroring his position - back upright against the cushions and legs extended along the length of the chaise. Derek raised his arm up and around her shoulders, pulling her even closer. Settling the computer on her lap, she opened up the first tab and Derek's eyes widened. He tilted his head and frowned at the screen.

"Is this porn?"

"Yup." She smacked her lips together. It wasn't like this was the first time they watched porn in each other's company.

Derek was still staring at the screen.

"Is this ... gay porn?" He asked.

"Yup." She repeated in the same tone.

Derek looked at the men on the screen curious. The scene was as clichéd as could be. The fake cop was arresting the twink who in turn was volunteering to suck his way out of his legal woes. He watched as the twink undid the cop's belt and zipper and then proceed to really earn his 'Get Out Of Jail Free' card. The video was about 15 minutes long and Derek was not ashamed to admit that he'd learned quite a few things about what a blow job can (and should) entail.  At one point, he poked Braeden in the shoulder with the hand resting on it.

"You...uhh...ever done that?" he asked hesitatingly.

When she just smirked at him, he cracked a smile in return and muttered, "Well, it wasn't with me."

When the video was done, Braeden quickly opened another tab, and then another when that too was over.  Each video got progressively more involved, with the second one adding the use of fingers and the third moving on to actual penetration. Somewhere in the middle of the second clip, Derek could sense her arousal with the way she was shifting and pressing her thighs together.  When the third clip had started, he decided to help her out and shifted them into a side spooning position with the laptop on the lounger. He slipped his hand into her pants and was able to bring her to completion before the end of the third clip.

"Oh that was just what I needed," she moaned as the picture stilled on the screen. "Damn Derek, your fingers were always magic."

Derek bit lightly into the curve of her shoulder and she wiggled her bum back into him.  She could not help but notice that even though Derek had seemed interested in the videos, there was a distinct lack of an erection pressing up against her. She wondered what that meant about his sexuality.

There was one clip left to watch but still wrung out from the last one, she was feeling lethargic in her post orgasmic haze. Her mind ran to Derek's luxurious bathtub. She got up from the lounger but placed the laptop back down next to Derek.

"I'm gonna go put your tub to good use," she told him. "But I'll start the last one for you."

"You don't need to." He responded. "I think I've seen more than I needed or wanted to."

He was smiling at her so she bent down and planted a quick kiss on his lips. "Just watch the damn video D."

Derek watched her walk away and counted himself lucky to have someone as amazing as she is, in his life.  He thought about how perfect life  could be if they could fall in love with each other. He wasn't sure exactly when he started believing in love - maybe it had to do with Stiles' insistence that he was deserving of it, that he was worthy - but now, even knowing that he and Braeden could have as close to perfect a life as you could get, there was a tiny piece of him that wanted to be loved like that. He was sure Braeden loved him - but not like that.

The audio from the video clip snagged his attention and he glanced down. He did a double take. The twink in the clip had a long lean body, with pale skin that was dotted with moles. His hair was remarkably familiar and if you didn't see his face full on, they guy looked remarkably like Stiles.  The tone of the clip was different as well. Whereas the previous three clips were staged productions that were light on plot and heavy on cheesiness, this one seem to be one of those amateur home movies so that the interaction was real.

Derek watched as the two men who visibly cared about, and  perhaps even loved, each other express that in the way they touched and tasted each other. They spoke to each other - and none of the scripted fake moaning and begging that the previous videos had. These two men murmured to each other about how much they felt for each other, how good each other's ministrations were making them feel. They asked each other if they were okay with what they were doing and sought positive reinforcement throughout the loving. That's what it was - loving, not sex; and not fucking. 

He felt a warm flush rise through him and he was surprised to find that he was a little more than half hard.  He had a definite preference for those scenes where the Stiles look alike filled most of the frame and you couldn't see his partner's face. It was easy to pretend that he was the other person in the video.  It was easy to imagine that it was Stiles saying those words and doing those things to him.  He slid his hand into his sweats. For the last few minutes of the clip, the look-alike's head and torso was mostly visible.  He was on his knees with his partner behind him but he'd dropped his elbows down so his head was resting on his arms, on the bed. It was the perfect angle for Derek to imagine Stiles as his face was hidden.  The sounds the guy was making was doing strange things to him and Derek was aching.  The young man huffed a sharp  exhale and Derek gasped in tandem as they both went spiralling into bliss.

He lay there for a few minutes after the video ended  catching his breath and corralling his thoughts. It was the first time he'd ever jerked off to gay porn. Yet it wasn't the gay porn that had him spilling in his pants. The first three videos were all about male on male sex and though he wasn't repulsed by it, he wasn't exactly turned on by it either. It was more of a curiosity thing.  It was the last video that hit him right in the gut. The concept of two men, genuinely devoted to and loving each other, being intimate and bringing pleasure to themselves as a couple was sexy and arousing - that's what turned him on.

Was that the reason being with Stiles was so easy and so good? They both cherished and appreciated each other and maybe even loved each other? Could he actually be in a committed relationship with a man, if that man was Stiles? He sighed contemplatively. He had so many questions at a point when his life was already decided for him.

Shutting off the laptop, he joined Braeden in the bathroom. She was already soaking in the tub and he wasn't surprised that she'd found the bubble bath that had sat in the cupboard unopened since he bought the place. He supposed he was grateful it was rosemary and sage scented instead of something overly sweet. Shucking off his clothes, he cleaned himself up, causing her to giggle when she realised why he needed to.

"I'm glad to see at least one video had an effect on you," she teased. "I didn't want to be the only one hot and bothered by a little guy on guy."

"If I recall, it was the other way around mostly, with the little guy under the other guy."  He teased back as he got into the tub with her. They sat facing each other and she flicked some bubbles over at him.

"You forgot the part where the little one rode the other one. Definitely on top there." She smirked as he slid further down into the water. "So, what did you learn?"

He eyed her, one eyebrow raised high. So it was a lesson after all and not some random pornographic urge.

"I learnt..." he paused, looking up as if concentrating. "I learnt how to get out of a traffic violation through the eloquent use of my tongue."

He stuck said tongue out at her. She squealed in delight.  If he was teasing, he had to be feeling much better than how she found him.

"Derek." She faux admonished. "I'm serious. How are you with the gay loving?"

"I'm okay with it, I think."

"You okay with it enough to give it a try?" Her tone was bolder than she felt.

Derek hesitated. He knew where she was going with this.

"Watching it on a website and getting it on with a man are two different things though Brae." Derek actually sounded regretful. "I still don't know about real life interactions."

"But you want to." She said and then clarified. "With Stiles, you want to."

Derek frowned, his eyebrows resting heavy  and close together over his eyes. He didn't reply. She watched him for a few minutes and then a thought occurred to her.

"D, we were pretty adventurous sexually, wouldn't you say?"

He nodded.

"Do you remember the time I got the handcuffs and wanted to cuff you to the bed?"

He nodded again.

"At first you were hesitant, because of your time with your ex, 'She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named". That bitch abused your trust and broke it and you never wanted to be put in a position where you were vulnerable again."

She got on her  knees and scooted closer to Derek. He widened his legs to give her room but she eventually just straddled his lap, resting her hands on his shoulders as she looked him in the face.

"You trusted me though," she reminded him. "You trusted me and it was good between us."

She pressed a light kiss to his cheek.

"You should trust Stiles. You should tell him and you should try and you should find out for certain either way. If it doesn't work, you still have me. I'll still marry you and we'll have a good life together. But D, just think of what your life could be if it did work. I love you but you need to do this before closing the door completely."

When he didn't say anything, she leaned in and rested her head in the crook of his neck. Derek held her close and thought about the two men in the last video. He thought about how every move they made was in consideration of the other, how they talked each other through it and how completely ecstatic they seemed with each other.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I think I'd like to try, Brae," he whispered. "I want to try with Stiles."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Incredibly late for a mostly finished product, I know and I apologize. Too many competing real life priorities. Hope you're still reading though. Thank you for still reading :)

 

 

“You agreed to WHAT?”

Lydia’s voice was more of a screech than a question. She reached across the coffee shop table and wrapped her perfectly manicured fingers around Stiles’ wrist in a bruising grip. He winced and glanced around the coffee shop quickly, checking to see how much of a scene they’d created. Surprisingly, no one seemed to be paying them any mind.

“Shush,” his urgent hiss was barely a whisper.

“Don’t shush me.” She complained. “I don’t understand the turn this conversation took.”

She lifted her latte to her lips and glared at him over the rim. Stiles could admit that he deserved it. All she had done was asked him what he was doing these days and he really should have thought better of answering, “Derek. I’m going to be doing Derek since I agreed to indulge in some sexy times with him.”

He winced again as the echo of that screech still rattled around his brain.

Putting her cup down, Lydia placed both hands, palms down, on the table and straightened her posture, rolling her shoulders back. She pinned him with a look that would have intimidated a stronger man than Stiles so he was fairly certain she could kill him with its intensity if she wanted to.

“Explain to me,” she began, “in little words if you have to, how you went from leaving Hale Inc. so you could put this unhealthy obsession with your former boss - that was wrecking you emotionally by the way - behind you, especially since he is days away from marrying some woman from his past, who is most definitely not you, to engaging in sexual congress with a man who can’t come to terms with the fact that he likes dick, which you most definitely have.”

“Whoa Lyds… give a guy a chance to process.” Stiles winked at her. “Was that entire thing one sentence? Because it sounded like it should have been a paragraph, which would mean multiple sentences.”

She just arched a well-shaped eyebrow at him and waited. Yup, she was always good at shooting down his deflections.

He sighed. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“Start at the part where you thought sleeping with a man about to marry someone else is a good idea, especially since he’s broken your heart countless times in the past few weeks.”

Stiles shook his head at how relentless Lydia could be.

“Okay, fine.” He stretched the word ‘fine’ out over two syllables. “You know how after I quite Hale Inc., I took some time to clean out my apartment and spend some time with my dad? Well, when I got back from a two day fishing trip with my dad – which, let me tell you , I love the man and all, but sitting in a canoe in silence with nowhere to go if I wanted to stretch my legs, is not….”

“Stiles!” Lydia interrupted. “Focus.”

Oh yeah. Stiles was supposed to be telling a different story.

“Sorry,” he smiled sheepishly. “Well, when I came back from spending time with Dad, I found Derek sitting on the floor, in the hallway outside my apartment door. Apparently he’d been there for over an hour because he hadn’t known I was away. I let him in – no Lyds, it was the courteous thing to do. He had to use the bathroom.”

Lydia didn’t look like she was buying the bathroom excuse but Stiles continued talking.

“Anyway, we caught up on what was going on with each other, and it took him, like maybe two cups of coffee and over an hour, but he eventually told me that I was important to him, that he had feelings for me but he was mostly afraid that he didn’t know for sure about his orientation – he’s always thought of himself as strictly straight and he’s still not attracted to men but he is however very attracted to me.”

Stiles smiled as he remembered how nervous Derek had been – starting sentences and then changing his mind a couple of words in. When he let Derek into his home, he had not known where the conversation was going to end up, but after not seeing Derek for so many days, he was glad to have the opportunity to be close to him.

It had been awkward at the start, neither of them really knowing how to bridge the gap his leaving, and Derek’s engagement to Braeden, had created. So Stiles, always the more vocal one, started telling Derek about the time spent with his Dad, and the funny antics the Stilinski men had gotten up to had Derek relaxing and smiling. Stiles had stayed away from asking about Braeden and about the marriage. He’d wondered if the ‘deed was done’ and surreptitiously checked out Derek’s hands for rings but found none. That meant nothing though. Derek wasn’t the jewelry wearing type.

“How exactly did that come up?” Lydia’s voice broke into Stiles’ thoughts.

He bit his lip. “It was weird, you know? Us seeing each other like that, almost strangers, after living in each other’s pockets for so long. Eventually we ran out of mundane conversation and we just sort of sat there in silence and you know how I am with silence. So I asked him why he was really at my door.”

“He hemmed and hawed for a bit and then it all came spilling out.”

_“I miss you Stiles. I wake up knowing that you’re not going to be there and I feel like I’ve lost a fucking limb.” Derek had said. “Not in the way that I’m now limited in what I can accomplish on any given day – though, there is that; But from the perspective that a part of me is missing. I feel like I’m not friggin’ whole anymore and it’s screwing up my entire life.”_

“Derek Hale actually said those words?” Lydia was incredulous. “From what I know of the man, I can’t even begin to imagine those words coming out of his mouth.”

Stiles nodded vigorously. “I know, right? I think my heart jumped up into my throat because I choked on it. I swear I felt like I was going to pass out from oxygen deprivation.”

“What’d you do? What did you say?” Her eyes were wide with curiosity.

Stiles hadn’t said anything. He could barely process what he’d just heard, how could he be expected to come up with a rational response? He’d gotten up and then just stood there, mouth open, jaw hanging, gaping like a goldfish, watching as Derek became more and more uncomfortable. Derek had glanced at the door as if preparing to make a run for it and Stiles panicked, internally ordering himself to speak, to say something funny to break the tension. When he still found himself silent, he ordered himself to say anything – even the wrong thing would be better than the oppressive quiet pressing down on the room. He still couldn’t find anything. For the first time in his entire existence, Stiles was completely speechless. It was as if his brain had stopped functioning. Great, he’d thought, Derek broke his heart and now his brain.

“So you just stood there saying nothing?” Lydia was shaking her head now. “You always have something to say. As much as I can barely imagine words coming out of Derek’s mouth, I can’t imagine you with no words coming out of your mouth.”

Stiles stuck his tongue out at her.

“Whatever Princess,” he tossed back with a smile. “I’m glad I was struck dumb because it prompted Derek to even more words.”

He filled her in on Derek’s internal battle to have a relationship with Stiles versus his fear of not being able to see a commitment through, based on his lack of male intimacy experience.

“He wants to bone you but he’s afraid to bone you because he’s not sure he can actually bone you?” Lydia frowned. “That doesn’t make sense. I think I get it but I’m not sure. It sounds like he’s afraid of risking his heart.”

“He’s afraid of risking my heart,” Stiles clarified. “If we got together and he couldn’t go all the way, he’d be bummed for sure but he’s more afraid that I would feel in adequate or unloved or some shit like that. He thought he’d lose me if he couldn’t keep me satisfied or something.”

“He lost you anyway,” she pointed out.

“Yup,” Stiles agreed. “The thing is though, I never pressured him. Any physical stuff came from both of us. I always stopped when he wanted to. I pointed that out. We talked about it and I figure that if he didn’t have Peter’s deadline hanging over his head, maybe we would have gravitated down that road naturally over time. We were making headway. There was awareness happening. Yeah it was glacial in pace but I really think we’d have gotten there eventually. Glacial is good when it comes to not freaking people out. It gives you time to analyze and adjust.”

Lydia sipped on her drink as she digested what Stiles was saying. She supposed she could see it, except for one thing.

“What about carrying on the Hale legacy?” she posed to Stiles. “Wouldn’t he want Hales to pass Hale Inc. on to? Sorry to break it to you babe, but you’re not exactly built to push out babies.”

“With time, that would not be an obstacle,” came the quick response. “There are ways; adoption, or if he really wants to pass on those stellar Hale genes, surrogacy. I have no problems raising his beautiful babies. Heck, we could get one of each, a Hale and a Stilinski, and maybe adopt a third just to mix things up. That is the least of the road blocks.”

“So why aren’t you guys trying that?” She challenged. “How did you get to the point where he’s still engaged to a woman and basically cheating on her with you? And why on earth did you agree to this fucked up arrangement?”

Stiles struggled for a minute to find the words to explain. He could see how it would appear to someone on the outside but it really wasn’t as sordid as it sounded.

“It was my idea, really,” he said in a quiet voice. “He and Braeden talked about his feelings for me and she is very supportive of him exploring the possibility of us being together. They aren’t romantically involved Lyds.”

Lydia rolled her eyes. “Are they sleeping together?”

“Hand jobs only so far.”

“I rest my case,” she pounced. “That’s more than you’ve done with him I bet.”

Stiles had to concede that point. He and Derek hadn’t traded orgasms so far. But that was okay. They weren’t there yet. He knew that Lydia wouldn’t understand what he was doing, but he was still hoping for her support. She was his closest friend. He had to try.

“Lyds,” he began. “I had spent the previous week drowning in misery because I’d closed the door on unrequited love. Then I find out that maybe it wasn’t unrequited. It was fear – fear of hurting me, by the way – and this insane deadline from his uncle that was fencing him in. Can you begin to understand how relieved I felt? It wasn’t that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t worthy of him or his love. It was just this stupid situation we’re in and if we had enough time, I could get him past the fear. I am water dropping on a rock. I can wear him down. Hell I wore you down and you love me now!”

She couldn’t hold back a smile at that proclamation.

“So standing there with the possibility of having the fucking love of my life, loving me back, of course I am going to go for it. I suggested we spend time together to test the waters. There’s no pressure to have sex but if it happens, then we’ll know.”

“But in the meantime, he’s getting married,” she insisted.

“I know this!” His voice was loud and harsh. He took a minute to collect himself.

“I know this,” he repeated, softer this time. “He needs to be married to save the company and she is a good friend who is willing to help him out. If their marriage becomes real, then I’ll accept that and end things, but in the meantime, I will make the most of what I have to work with. I mean think about it. Not all marriages last forever. People get divorced all the time.”

Lydia squeezed his wrist. “Are you listening to yourself Stiles? You are plotting the divorce of a marriage that hasn’t even happened yet. This isn’t you.”

He dropped his head forward on the table, his forehead against her fingers. His voice was muffled.

“I love him Lyds. I don’t know how not to, and however this turns out, I’m all in.”

With her free hand, she threaded her fingers through his hair, offering comfort. She was so scared that he was going to get hurt and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Oh, she’d eviscerate Derek Hale when it happened, that much was certain. Other than that, all she could do was simply be there for her friend.

Leaning down, she rested her head against his, her cheek against his hair. “I know Stiles,” she comforted with a waterlogged whisper. “I know.”

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

As he cruised through the aisles of the supermarket, Stiles couldn't help but have a tiny spring to his steps. He was excited. Derek was coming over for dinner and if things went the way it was supposed to, it would actually be their first date of sorts.  He had it all planned out. He was going to cook a fabulous meal ( the way to a man's heart is through his stomach and all that crap), pop open a couple bottles of ice cold beers, and maybe get to do a little necking with his love. Yeah, that was definitely a bounce in his step and he was absolutely wearing the most ridiculous smile on his face. He hadn't felt this fired up about a date in a really long time.

He was humming softly to himself as he checked through his cart to make sure he had all the items on his list, before heading off to the cashier.  The soft but husky voice caught him by surprise.

"Stiles, right?" it asked.

He looked up to see a beautiful dark-skinned woman standing before him, grinning whole heartedly.  _Braeden,_  he thought and felt a moment of panic, as if he'd been caught out but he shrugged it off. He wasn't doing anything wrong; he was just grocery shopping like the other patrons around him. He had nothing to feel guilty for. ' _Yet'_ his unhelpful mind supplied.

Stiles tried to reciprocate the smile but he was sure it came out more like a grimace, because she gave him a look of amusement.

"It's Braeden," she clarified. "Derek's friend. We met once before, a few years back."

So they had.

Stiles was in a dither. He supposed he should offer his hand in a handshake or some sort of acknowledgement or greeting, but his fingers seemed to be locked in a death grip around the shopping cart handle. Besides, wouldn't touching her cross a line or something?  He was pretty sure there was an unwritten rule somewhere that the 'fiancée' and 'the lover on the side' should never meet.  Before he could stutter out a stupid response though, she reached over and hugged him briefly. 

"Please," she pleaded. "Let's not be weird about this."

"I think that ship has sailed," he muttered under his breath. She heard anyway and let out a peal of laughter.

"I did hear about your wit," she said smiling. "Well, I refuse to let things be awkward with us. I think we could actually be friends. I just moved here and I would really like to have a few good friends. Of course Derek tells me that you're the very best kind to have."

Stiles frowned before catching himself and schooling his features. This situation was becoming more and more uncomfortable. That was twice she'd mentioned Derek's name in less than a minute of conversation. The last thing that he wanted to be thinking of, with Braeden in front of him, was that everything in the cart between them was part of an elaborate seduction plan for the man she was about to marry.

His eyes darted from side to side as he searched for something to say or a means of escape - whichever came first.

"Stiles?" her voice sounded as if she were framing a question and he knew he wasn't getting out of this one. He exhaled and turned his head to look at her. She really was a beautiful woman.

"Thank you," she said smiling and _oh shit he'd said that out loud_.

"I'm sorry," he said. "It's just... it's kind of weird meeting you like this."

She tilted her head and cocked and eyebrow at him.

"How did you think we'd meet again?"

Biting his lip, he replied. "I never really thought about it. In my head, you are a world away from my little tiny circle of people. Now that I don't work at Hale Inc. anymore, there really wasn't any reason to anticipate running into you."

She considered that.

"So you don't think it's within the realm of possibility, that the three of us could be friends together? Have dinner sometimes, or just hang out with other people?" She was still smiling but looking at him as if assessing his reaction. "I know Derek is not big on socializing because he gets so damn wrapped up in his work, but maybe together, we can bust him out of his shell a bit? Derek is important to both of us Stiles, and we're both important to him. Wouldn't it be great if we could be just a little bit important to each other?"

He stared at her with wide eyes and a short circuiting brain? She thought they could be friends and hang out? What the fuck was wrong with her? She was marrying the man he'd been in love with for half his life; the man for whom he was willing to basically become someone his father would be ashamed of, in order to spend time with him. They couldn't be friends! They were rivals; competitors for Derek's love and she was winning because she was fucking marrying Derek. Stiles wanted to, not only hate her, but to be justified in hating her, but of course she just had to go and be a really nice person which makes him the not nice person in this bloody triangle.

She gave him this strange look and Stiles had a moment's freak out that he'd said the whole thing out loud instead of in his head.

But then she smiled and asked, "So, what do you think? Can we at least try at friendship?"

"When is the wedding?" he blurted out.

The minute the words were out of his mouth, he wanted to recall them.  Damn his lack of filter.  He knew that this woman was going to marry Derek but he’d successfully pushed it into a dark corner in his mind. If he didn’t think about it, he could pretend that it wasn’t real. So why was he asking for details that would just cement the reality in his head.  He really was a master at making himself miserable.

If Braeden found the outburst odd, she didn’t say anything.  She watched him for a second and then responded in a dry tone, “Day after tomorrow. We put it off for a few days to get our stuff in order.”

‘Day After Tomorrow’.   _Appropriate_ , Stiles thought. It was after all the name of one of his favourite disaster movies. He could picture the giant wall of water heading towards the skyscrapers of the New York as a metaphor for the tsunami of angst and heartbreak about to come down upon him.  He could feel his chest tightening and his breathing weaken as he struggled unsuccessfully to push all thoughts of the wedding out of his mind.  He glanced up at Braeden, who was looking at him with more than a little concern and it felt like a blow to the gut.

“Fuck it! I can’t...” he blurted out. “I just can’t do this.”

He pushed the cart away from him and spun around, stumbling blindly away from Braeden, seeking the exit.

If he could just get to his Jeep, away from this, he could call Lydia he told himself. She’ll talk him down.  He patted down his pockets looking for his phone. As he staggered outside into the sunlight, shading his eyes, he could hear Braeden calling his name from some distance behind him.  He spotted the Jeep and moved quickly. He could make it there before she caught up with him. Just a few more steps.

He was just about to climb into the Jeep when her hand came down on her arm.  He flinched and she drew back quickly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."  She stepped back away from him to give him some breathing room but stayed close.

"Breathe Stiles," she ordered. "You need to keep breathing. I'm going to set the pace but you have to follow. Breathe in.....now let it out slowly. Breathe in....and slowly let it out."

She talked him through it, repeating the instructions, until he was himself again. Eventually he sighed, and then touched her hand as a signal that he was calm enough to continue on his own.  They stayed there, standing in the parking lot, in silence for a bit, each collecting their thoughts and planning what next to say.

"I don't know what I did that upset you, but I am sorry," she apologised. "I didn't realise I was triggering anything. I'm so sorry Stiles."

Stiles hated that under other circumstances, he would probably really like this woman. Things were too complicated though.

"S'okay," he replied. "I sort of did it to myself. My head is a convoluted place to live in most days."

"So...we cool?" She gestured between them with a finger.

He nodded. "Yes. We're good."

She grinned in relief and Stiles felt like a jerk for what he was about to do.

"We can't be friends Braeden." He jumped right in. "I think you're a lovely person and I know Derek thinks the world of you and he doesn't even have a favourite colour. So for you to be his favourite person, it says a lot about you. But I can't be friends with you."

"Why?"

"I'm in love with Derek." It was stated plainly. "You're marrying Derek.  I could never look at you without thinking that he chose you - that I wasn't good enough because I don't have a vagina.  You get to have his name, his babies, his address. You'll help him save his family's legacy, raise a new family with him. You get to grow old with him. How could I be friends with you, when every thought of you will be filled with envy and resentment. I couldn't do that to you. I couldn't do that to me."

Braeden bit her bottom lip and considered his words. She didn't seem surprised but rather sympathetic to his feelings.

"Stiles, it doesn't have to be you standing on the outside looking in." She came to stand next to him, shoulder to shoulder, against the jeep. " Derek loves you. He's just beginning to come to terms with what that means. Why can't we both love him and share in his love?  We could both be his; you know what I mean?"

He shook his head. She took a breath and tried again.

"I'm marrying Derek because he wants to save the company. I'm under no illusion as to why. But Derek and I are both very practical people. We'll give it a real shot at making it work as a partnership because there's no romance here. We're good friends who love each other. The romance is where you come in.  I know him and he's in love with you. You're in love with him, and I love him enough to not want him to lose out on that. So yes, I'll have his name and his children but you Stiles, will have his heart and I would give just about anything...I would trade everything, just to have that. To have him look at me the way his eyes get when he's talking about you? To have him say my name with the same awe and reverence that he says yours? Yeah, I'd trade the playing house for the holding hearts. "

"Holy shit!" The realization came sudden and hard. "You're in love with him too."

She laughed, a broken sound. "Bitch, I might be."

He laughed too. "We're a sorry pair, aren't we?"

"So what are we going to do?" Braeden asked. "Do you think we could both be part of his life? I'm not proposing a threesome or anything, just we both get to love Derek without worrying about societal norms telling us this is wrong or kinky or anything."

Stiles turned to look at her.  He was tempted. He was so tempted. Being open about his relationship with Derek would make it easier. Her being onboard would eliminate some of the guilt as well. But how long would it be before he began to resent Derek for going home to her? How would holidays and family time work?

As if she could see the argument in his head, she pushed off the jeep and turned to him.

"Just think about it."  She leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.

Then she was gone and he was left alone in the parking lot surrounded by vehicles and his thoughts.


	11. Chapter 11

They'd been sitting in silence, at the tiny table in the kitchen area of Stiles apartment, for at least ten minutes.  When Derek came over as he had been invited to do, it was not to the excited, romantic atmosphere he was hoping for (and to be honest, expecting based on the conversation he'd had with Stiles the night before). Instead, he'd found Stiles in a dark apartment, looking as if he was mourning the loss of a loved one. Knowing Stiles as he did, he led the young man to the seat he was currently occupying and set about making coffee for them both.

Then he sat down across from him and waited.

His coffee was finished for some time and still Stiles seemed to be struggling to find words.  Given that silence was not something he associated with the young Stilinski, Derek was growing more concerned with every soundless moment between them. He pushed his empty mug to the side and slid his hand across the tabletop to cover Stiles' fingers with his own.

The human contact seemed to startle Stiles out of his own head. He sighed and smiled apologetically at Derek.

"Sorry Der," he offered. "I probably should have called and cancelled but I've been too caught up in this madhouse I call my mind. "

Derek nodded in understanding. "You want to talk about it? I may not be able to help you fix whatever it is that's got you worked up - you may not even want my help - but I promise I can listen."

Head angled down toward the table, Stiles bit his bottom lip and then flicked his eyes upward to Derek. Derek's heart stopped at the vulnerability contained in those whiskey pools. He wanted to smash whatever put that fear and uncertainty into the most confident person he knew. Stiles should never look like this. He should never feel like this.

He gave Stiles' hand a soft squeeze as a gesture of support and the action made the young man look so distraught. Stiles pulled his hand out from under Derek's and folded his arms, tucking his fingers into his armpits, as if to clamp down on the urge to return Derek's touch.

"I saw Braeden earlier today," he told Derek.

Derek smiled at the thought of his two favourite people in the world together.

"What did you think?" he asked, curious to know what kind of impression his friend would have made on Stiles.

Stiles gave a half smile, only one corner of his mouth lifting upwards.

"Despite my best efforts to the contrary, I find that I like her a lot. She seems very grounded but cool with it. She seems like the type of person you'd want on your side because she's loyal enough to kick ass for you and noble enough to sacrifice her own happiness for yours"

"That she is." Derek agreed. "That must have been quite the conversation if you were able to draw her character out so clearly."

"It was," Stiles nodded. He waited a heartbeat and then added, "So I hear you're getting married, the day after tomorrow."

Derek waited a heartbeat of his own before replying.

"Yes. I would have told you myself, but it didn't seem like something you wanted to know."

Stiles snorted at the truth in that statement. He hadn't wanted to know. Once you know something, you can't _un-know_ it and actions taken in the stark light of awareness carry a completely different weight to them, than those where you can claim not being fully informed.

"That is true." He said. "I didn't really want to know because I was still desperately caught up in pretending it wasn't happening. But it is happening. Braeden is not just a concept in my head that I can push back into some dark recess, where I can cover her with shadows and lies I tell myself. She is flesh and blood real, and a person with feelings and hopes and dreams just like I am."

"Of course she is Stiles." Derek frowned in puzzlement. "I'm not sure what you're saying here."

Stiles got up, his chair making a loud scraping noise as it was pushed back behind him. He walked over to the kitchen counter and leaned back against it, his butt half-sitting on the edge. He looked at Derek with an intensity that had Derek feeling as if Stiles was seeing him, or a part of him, for the first time. It made him very uncomfortable.

"I'm saying...no, I'm asking," he corrected, "what the hell are we doing here Derek? You are getting married in forty eight hours and here you are exploring your sexuality with the guy who's good enough for you to fuck around with but not good enough for you to want to build a life with."

"STILES!" Derek flew to his feet. "That's not true. Don't ever say that. It's not true!"

He took a step towards Stiles but held up one hand with an open faced palm as a sign for him to stay.

"No, don't come any closer." Stiles voice wavered and Derek could see the tears beginning to well in his eyes. "Stay where you are Derek. I've been thinking about this a lot, and there are things I need to say. I can't let myself be distracted. So stay where you are and let me finish."

Derek looked like he was about to argue but then Stiles added, "Please."

He sat back down at the table and waited for Stiles to continue.

"Derek, I have loved you for so much of my life. The last five years at Hale Inc has only reinforced my belief that you and I could have the very best of partnerships, that we could share a life together and build a family, a dynasty, a legacy of our own. We're so damn good together. That's why it damn near killed me when you had to get married and you never even considered that I might be in the running, despite the fact that I'd been running your entire life and probably half your company for the last half a decade."

"Stiles," Derek tried to interrupt but Stiles cut him off cold.

"No, no. Let me finish." He continued over Derek's voice. "I get that you hadn't quite come around to the idea of having a husband instead of a wife...but damn Derek, I would have been happy with a platonic union. We pretty much had that anyway.  Do you have any clue about what it felt like to know that you'd prefer a fucking stranger or your disastrously wrong ex girlfriend than the guy who'd been actually doing the spouse thing for years with none of the spouse-fucking-benefits?"

"That's not fair," interjected Derek. "I was confused about my feelings and what they meant,  and with that crazy deadline hanging over my head like Damocles' sword, I couldn't see past saving the company.  You know this Stiles. I haven't kept anything from you."

"Where is this coming from, Stiles?" Derek raked both hands through his hair before fisting them on the table. "What the hell did Braeden say to you?"

"No!" Stiles shouted. "You don't get to do this.  It's not about Braeden. Fuck, it's not even about me. It's about you Derek Hale."

He walked away from the kitchen area and Derek, and into the living room space. He turned back to look at Derek.

"You want to know what we talked about?" he asked. "We talked about you. She invited me into your life together so what we have doesn't have to be a shameful thing to be secreted in lies and cover ups. The woman you are marrying the day after tomorrow, gave me fucking permission to fucking fuck her husband anytime and asked me to be her friend. Me - the scumbag that her husband was going to cheat on her with.  She doesn't have anyone in this bloody town and the one person in the world who should be there for her will be busy screwing his thing on the side."

"You are not my thing on the side!" roared Derek.

"Damn fucking straight!" Stiles roared right back. "I'm not your employee. I am not your boyfriend. I am not your lover. I am nothing to you."

Derek stood up angrily but stayed where he was in the kitchen.

"Stop saying that," he demanded. "This thing between us may not be new to you but it's new to me and you have to cut me some slack. Give me some time to explore and understand it.  You've had awareness for years and maybe it's been simmering under my skin for a while know but I didn't know Stiles. I didn't know."

In the living room, Stiles stopped the pacing he'd been doing and wrapped his arms around himself.

"There's too damn much that you don't know Derek." He said quietly but clearly. "You're one of the most brilliant minds I know and yet still there's too fucking much that you don't know."

"Did you know that Braeden is in love with you?

Derek looked at him stricken.

"You've known her for years and you didn't know how she felt about you. Didn't know why she would change her entire life for you, why she would openly accept you fucking someone else if it was all she could have of you. I spent half an hour with her and knew what you _didn't know_."

The last two words contained so much scorn, Derek flinched at them.

"Braeden and I are friends, Stiles," he said. "We're friends."

"So were we," cam the quiet reply."

"We're a different situation," began Derek.

"Not so different."

Stiles walked back to the kitchen area but stood across from Derek, keeping the table between them. The tears were streaming freely down his face by this point.

"You know Der, I spent so much time making Braeden out to be the bad guy in this story.  Bitch came into town and stole my future life and future family. She stole my future. But then I realised, it was never mine for her to steal it from me. Then I thought that maybe I was the bad guy. You had history with her. You have compatibility with her and goodness knows you didn't even have to think about marrying her. Maybe I was the interloper, trying to worm my way into her future, destroying her family aspirations and dreams. Then I met her. And you know what I realised Derek? Neither of us is the bad guy in this story. We're just two people in love with someone who is fucking clueless about the lives he is messing around with."

"That's not fair Stiles." Derek's voice was pained. "I don't mean to mess around or mess up your lives. You two are the most important people in my life."

"No Derek, that's not true. The people most important to you have been dead for some time now and you're still seeking their approval. Braeden and I are just casualties in that journey."

"How the hell can you say this to me?" Derek shouted.

"Because it's true," he answered back. "When Lydia was chewing off my head for even considering an illicit relationship with a married man, I told her that I love you and whatever it took, I was all in. When I met Braeden, I could sense the same. Whatever it took, she was all in. The only person not all in, is you Derek. And you know what? That makes you the big bad in this story."

"Braeden and I deserve to have someone love us enough to be all in. That's not you. I won't make decisions for her but I can make decisions for me. I deserve to have someone love me the way I that I love - with everything in our hearts and soul.  That's not you right now. I truly believe that you do have it within you to love completely but right now, your love is reserved for Hale Inc. and nothing or no one else."

"So, I can't believe I am saying this, but we're done here Derek. Go marry your woman, save your company and ride off into the sunset but I'm not following you like the family pet, looking for whenever you can throw me bone. I am worth so much more and fuck you for not seeing that."

Derek scrunched his eyes up tight, trying to stop the tears. When he opened them again, he blinked rapidly trying to clear his vision but he had the feeling that he'd never see his way clear again.

"Stiles..." he started to say.

"We're done Derek." The interruption was harsh. "We're done and you need to leave now."

Derek felt gutted, empty. He stayed rooted to the spot, praying that Stiles would relent and maybe they could talk past this. He couldn't be the bad guy in this story. He never wanted or meant to be the bad guy. He pleaded silently with Stiles but Stiles walked over to the door and held it open for him. There was no ambiguity in Stiles' message.

He walked towards the door, pausing as he passed Stiles.

"I do love you, you know," he offered, a final prayer for redemption.

Stiles looked at his shoes instead of at Derek. "I know. It's not enough."

Derek acknowledged the words with a nod and a sniffle and continued on his way out. When the door closed behind him, turned around and pressed his forehead to the door and watched as the teardrops hit his shoes.

On the other side of the door, Stiles had his forehead pressed against the door and silently joined Derek in grieving for everything they lost without ever having.


End file.
